Philosophies for their Hatred
by RYOUKOx
Summary: [WFM REWRITE]Emotions had always gotten the better of her but now she was faced with her only oppurtunity for happiness. But as things don't seem to go as planned maybe her path with another Uchiha is considerably more interesting. ITAXSAKU[XDei poss?]
1. A retrieval destined for one kunoichi

**PHILOSOPHIES FOR THEIR HATRED**

**Wait for me Re-write by RYOUKOx**

"**First and foremost and ItachiXSakura fic, Kay [;?" **

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Naruto, but I'll take my chances with Itachi.

_**Italics-**__FLASHBACKS_

**Chapter 1.**

**A retrieval destined to only kunoichi.**

* * *

** Haruno Sakura  
**

It was still dark outside but the window was open and the cold nights wind brushed over my pale face and made me stir suddenly.  
My green eyes shot open and I stared up at the dark ceiling; old and tattered as it had always looked.  
Slowly I closed my eyes again refusing to believe that I'd woken up to an empty room that no longer held the happiness that I could so easily remember.

But I then realised I could quite happily stay with my eyes closed shielding away from the dark and at that my eyes shot open. I sat bolt upright as the wind threw cold shivers across my delicate skin once again, my hands rubbed my sleeping features and I screwed my hair up in my hands for a second as my body stretched itself out in an attempt to wake myself up more.

I quickly glanced at the clock and its green figures flashed at me like a signal in my head.

Wanting to ignore it I turned it away from me and cupped my face again before clambering out of my soft futon.  
My feet slowly touched the floor and I shivered as it felt like stepping out on to a sheet of ice.  
I wanted to pull them back up into the futon but knowing that there wouldn't be any point in me staying just led in bed I decided I'd just face the chill that kept creeping over me.

As I walked over to the balcony of my room I looked out over the gates of Konaha and felt the chilling breeze fly over my shoulders and I breathed in it's clean wondrous scent like I'd never smelt it before.

Looking back to my clock I laughed at the small Sake cup and saucer that led there; it was supposedly 'Tsunade's special mix'. Meaning it tasted like utter crap but it would affect you in all of a few sips and (though I never dared to admit it) it was true, I could vaguely remember some drunken antics of the night before, but the clearest being Naruto and I running around screaming while on Konaha's main road before swimming in the lake and being completely frozen while we giggled ourselves silly walking home.

I knew it was best to thank Tsunade for the sake though she'd passed out quite quickly without seeing Naruto pretty much pull apart her office. But I knew that Naruto was smiling whole heartedly at me the whole time, I think it was one of the rare times where we'd forgotten about everything that made us upset.

But he'd need checking on, Naruto had drank quite a dosage more than me and although he and I were in the same state he could just withstand more of 'Tsunade's special mix' being that she generally gave him quite a lot when she annually tried to stop drinking. (Obviously all attempts were un-successful but at least she had the right idea)

I walked into my bathroom and flicked on the light that blinked and scorched my eyes as I'd grown use to the darkness now. I slowly re-opened my emerald eyes and stared at the sink before me.  
Washing myself quickly I glanced at myself in the mirror pulling my hair into a high pony tail and realising my hair had slowly grown as long as it had been all those years ago.

It was weird, I guess.

I wondered if he'd even care about what I looked like.  
I wondered if he even remembered me at all.

Probably not.

We never did talk about him anymore, we all knew that we thought about him often but we never said a word.  
The most we'd say was a muttered word between friends.  
Sometimes I'd overhear people that never really knew him talking about him, rude words even though they didn't even know anything about him.  
And one the rare occasion they'd just talk about "The Uchiha's", like they were all the same, but I knew they were different.

Okay I understood I'd only ever known one of them but still, how could you tie so many people under the same brush.  
I just shook my head and knew that even if he never remembered me, I knew I'd always remember him.  
His stupid racoon looking hair and his dark eyes that bored into my soul like I never thought possible.

"My Sasuke" I said slowly and rubbed my arms remembering the last time I'd hugged him.  
I bit on my lip and forgot him; it was always for the best.

I looked towards my bathroom door but checked I looked okay before walking back into my room and going to my counter where I'd left the clothes I was going to wear out the night before.  
I must've done so while intoxicated being that I'd left out three pairs of brightly coloured shorts and a small pile of linen bandages.  
If I wore that I'm sure I'd get some attention walking down the street.  
I chuckled to myself stupidly taking two of the shorts and placing them back into my chest of drawers before pulling on the one pair I'd left out and beginning to wrap my chest with the linen bandages, I realised I had barely any and they hardly covered my chest at all.  
Walking back over to the drawers I had to hit it to make it open, I needed a new one but I knew I'd have to save the money that I didn't have to buy anything other than my usual amount of food.  
I sighed; my room had taken so much battering over the years.

_When Shinobi from another village had taken my parents hostage while looking for goods in our home my father had defended me and it ended that they'd kill him, just like that.  
And as rude and disrespectful as it may sound; I barely noticed he'd died._

_He'd only been around when I was very very young, at least to the age of three.  
I had no recollection of him, so when he visited it was like introducing a new person to me every time. _

_My mother somewhat disapproved of his long absence but I never saw why, If I barely knew him then why would she bother about the both of us so much?  
_

_But I guess I found it more difficult when my mother died.  
She'd been the one to attempt to make the three of us a working, normal family and knowing that her effort was wasted made me hate myself for not trying harder to acknowledge my Father. _

_I was only around the ago of sixteen at the time, but it had seemed like any other day.  
She'd been complaining for a while of her arms being numb or getting pains throughout her body but now shed been telling me that her arms were hurting.  
I tried analysing her myself to put my medic skills at good use but found nothing.  
I had an inkling but I didn't act upon it, I knew what was going to happen but denied it and so Naruto assisted me as I took her to a Doctor._

_I knew the Doctor but I would never say I trusted him.  
He asked me if it was alright for her to stay over night for further examination and I knew then what would happen.  
My inkling had been she was brinking death and slight movement was tearing at her muscles and eating away at her vital organs.  
There wasn't any way to save her; the disease would only eat away at the other person if they tried to help her._

_They would either let her die in suffering by herself, in give her something to calm her pain therefore eventually killing her.  
It wasn't pleasant but there was no other answer.  
I told him okay and I think we both knew what I was implying._

_He'd walked away and I went to see if not for the last time.  
She was sleeping and her heart monitor beeped quietly._

_I said a quiet good bye stroking her hand and smiling as tears brimmed my eyes._

_She said nothing as the tears fell down my face and I squeezed her hand wanting he to hold on.  
A smile crept upon her lips and then I walked out.  
And we both knew I wasn't coming back._

I sighed at the thought of my Mother.  
I guess I did miss her. But never as much as people would've expected, I was already alone.

The wind blew in and I remembered my bandages as I wrapped them back around me securely.  
I walked back to my chest of drawers and pulled out a short black kimono that reached mid thigh at a push. I remembered it was a birthday present from Temari, Kankouro and Gaara. Obviously, or I would've hoped that Temari picked it out; It was much like the ones she wore so I guess I was pleased.

Kankouro did seem the type to drool over a girl in a short Kimono.  
I shuddered; the male species did sicken me at times.  
But nevertheless I pulled the kimono on tightly and fastened it.

I then turned to shake out the sheets of my futon, I glanced at the time and it told me that it was coming up to quatre past five in the morning.  
It was still early and as I walked over to the window I realised the suns beams now lay on the trademarked Sakura tree that stood outside my window.  
It was cliché and I'd said to my mother about it but she'd just laughed at how I talked older than my age.  
The smell would fly into my senses often though and I couldn't help but remember the plate my mother had given me.

For one of my birthdays she'd bought a large plate and had it inscribed for me.

_She read it aloud for me.  
"When the prettiest flowers bring happiness to themselves it always fills the hearts of others" _

_She filled a thin layer of water in the bottom and I dropped in the petals that had softly fallen from the tree._

_"Thank you Mama" I said and smiled up at her as she handed the plate to me. _

I wondered for a moment whether it would be a good idea to fill the bowl, but being that it was the end of September the tree seemed bare and I saw no point.

But the sounds of the street quietly now flooded into my room and I blinked.  
"Maybe I should go see Naruto" I thought.  
And I headed towards the door.

Pulling on my shoes and my coat I headed out locking the door behind me.  
My house was quite large compared to others and if my Mother's and Father's will, would have never guaranteed enough money for me to live I would've probably had to give up our family home.

But I was glad to have it, it was too big for one person but Naruto often stayed over being that he seemed to worry about me so much.  
But really I understood why.  
He'd lost so many people he'd never want to lose me.  
I never wanted to lose him.  
Not Naruto, He'd never let me go.

Not ever.  
These thoughts ran through my head as I walked slowly through Konaha's back streets, being so early no-one was really around but the small number of people that were; well they were always the same, we saw each other on a regular basis and seemed to wave now and again.

Usually it was shop keepers getting their stalls ready or old folks going about their daily routine but barely anyone else.  
Some people went to work but I rarely saw them.

Konaha had grown quiet over the years, when I was younger it was always so full of shouts and laughter but after years I guessed it died down.

There were still tons of local children running around but now I guess I didn't take any notice of them, they just seemed so much quieter.  
But then I guess when I was their age you never did realise your own personal volume.  
I guess I expected growing up, I'd never change, that I'd always stay the same person that I always had been but when you're young you're invincible.

And I guess I thought I was.

Someone shot past me quickly and I blinked out of my day dream suddenly realising that I'd reached Konaha's main street.  
Naruto's place was quite close and I took my time now, it was still early and I doubted that he'd be awake anything before 10am.  
So I wandered in and out of shops not really looking for anything in particular but suddenly a familiar flash of purple seemed to run past me.  
I could've sworn it was what had run past me earlier but I was unsure obviously.

Suddenly something grabbed my shoulder and I whipped around quickly.  
I almost fell into my fighting stance but when I realised who it was I chuckled slightly.

"What so funny aye Sakura?" Ino said throughout vigorous panting.  
She bent forward and her chest heaved up and down as she caught her breath.  
"Nothing" I laughed heartily and Ino's shining grin stared up at me.

After gaining her breath back she stood straight and I gave her a stern look as she stretched about madly.  
"Are you okay Ino?" I asked her bending forward to look at her in the face.  
She looked pinkish and she wiped the small beads of sweat away from her nose before smiling as she always did.  
"Of course I am, I just thought it a good idea to get a little exercise out of my house this morning" she hesitated and looked away from me with her smile still on her face.

"But I'm beginning to think it's probably better inside, there I don't have to show everyone how I look all sweaty and gross" she chuckled.  
I got ready to tell her that even this early she looked radiant as ever and I opened my mouth to tell her yet she interrupted me.

"I don't want to hear it, I look gross and it's final" she said still grinning and I smiled humbly back at her.

After a few moments of unimportant small talk she grabbed my hand and tugged me into the shop that I'd just been stood by.  
She took her time looking around the numerous stalls that were filled with different bars of chocolate and she whined that she wanted some but crossed her thoughts and picked up a bottle of water with a huff, she insisted she also bought me one but I refused and told her I'd buy a coffee outside.  
With some persuasion with both walked over to the coffee stand that was paces away from the shop and I bought my coffee; black, one sugar.

Ino shook her head at me. "You and your caffeine intake Sakura, they must be through the roof" she laughed as we choose a shiny silver table outside the stand and sat down.

I looked into my plastic cup and stared at my reflection in the rippling hot water.  
"Sakura?" Ino questioned me.

I didn't look up but gave a small "Hmm?"

"Sakura?" She tried again and I looked up.  
Her face was serious and I guessed she wasn't going to let me watch my reflection for any time longer than I already had.

"Are you okay?" Ino asked me as she neatly folded her hands on the table.  
I blinked at her. "Other than a minor hangover?" I said intending to make a joke, but when she didn't laugh I guessed she wanted a much more serious answer.

"Well yeah, I'm fine" I said slightly raising an eyebrow at her. "Why?" I asked suddenly.

Words went through Konaha these days as quickly as the passing breeze and if someone misheard something the whole of Konaha would know in the blink of a misleading eye.

Ino looked down at her bottle of water for a moment and I stared at her before she looked up. Her face was plastered with a half hearted smile and I know the words to follow would be either a lie or a distraction.

"Because you've been staring into your cup for more than five minutes and I thought your body needed caffeine every.." she looked at her watch. "Every three and a half minutes. I don't want you fainting without it" she said sticking her tongue out.

So she'd gone for the distraction.

I smiled at her and took a dignified sip from my cup and she smiled again.  
It was completely fake but I couldn't be bothered to ask for the answer and although Ino was the gossip diva she always had been I knew she'd tell me a full blown story about why she was worried about me.  
And being that it was so early in the morning I didn't really feel like that sort of impacting information over a cup of black coffee.

But I sighed in my mind knowing that Ino would always be addicted to her gossip as she was sure I was so addicted to caffeine.

I really wasn't, it just so happened that whenever Ino was around I seemed to be either;

-Buying a cup of coffee

-Making a cup of coffee

-Or being beans to make a cup of coffee

So obviously to her it would seem I was addicted.

I wasn't though.

After a moments silence I looked at her.  
"I don't drink coffee that often!" I suddenly protested.  
She'd been drinking her water while I said it and as she replaced the lid she laughed at me.  
"Well no, but if you think about every time you did and then added them all up and subtracted them from the amount of time you didn't drink them then you'd realise how much you drink!" She spurted.

I was totally confused and my puzzled face obviously pleased her.  
"Anyway Sakura, must dash I've got a yoga class to go to" She said getting up from her chair and ruffling my hair.  
I straightened it out and scowled at her.  
"Get lost Ino-pig!" I shouted as she began jogging away.

"No problemo forehead-girl!" she shouted back turning backwards as she ran down the dusty road.

I waved at her and she waved back still not facing forwards and as she turned so undoubtedly ran right into someone.

Both she and whoever the person was fell backward and she only fell right on top of that person.

I stood up to run over to them but stopped when I realised who it was.

Now before I go on I must tell you, I myself have a small figure for a girl of eighteen, I have quite wide hips but the rest of me is petite but Ino was built completely differently.  
And without sounding rude she had quite a large ..well.. quite a large chest area.

Which she flaunted quite regularly.

But you see the reason I stopped when I realised who it was, was because when I saw the blushing face of Shikamaru Nara how could you have pulled them apart.

As sickeningly as it was that they both liked each other but couldn't say a word, if I interfered then it might've stopped a vital opportunity for the both of them.  
So I left it smiling and watching them.

Ino, suddenly embarrassed (Which is by far a once in a blue moon thing) scrambled off Shikamaru and standing away from him hiding her blushing face.

Shikamaru who lay stunned on the floor for a few moments suddenly realised the Ino had moved and got up quickly searching in his pocket for something.

Ino roughly brushed off her clothes of dirt and apologised to Shikamaru.

I could roughly hear them speaking and watched from my coffee table as Shikamaru pulled out his cigarettes and lighter from his pocket.

I giggled as Ino told Shikamaru off for smoking and he just lit his fag in an attempt obviously to calm his heightened nerves.

Ino must've suddenly snapped back into her usually self as she playfully pulled the lit cigarette from his mouth and broke it in front of him poking her bright red tongue out.  
She then kind of looked awkward and quickly hugged him before running off and not looking back.

I wanted to congratulate Shikamaru but I didn't want him to know I was watching. And as he did a weird sort of dance (obviously of joy) even though he'd just been almost rugby tackled by a girl it had been the girl he'd undoubtedly fallen in love with.

But I stayed unknowing and just waved to Shikamaru as he walked off a smile plastered over his usual plain face.

I smiled to myself and drank the last of my now luke-warm coffee before picking up the plastic cup and placing it in the bin.

I remembered that it was best I checked on Naruto, if he was in any state like he usually was after drinking anything Tsunade gave him he'd need someone to check on him.

I quickly passed some familiar shops and inwardly sighed at how I'd remember them when I was young. When they were new and their bright colours used to make my eyes divert and I often ended up walking in the middle of the road.

But now the colours had dulled and the owners had aged but I guess we all had.

I suddenly passed Ichiraku ramen but stopped.

Recently Naruto had given the owner a brilliant idea of selling him ramen in containers so that people could take it away with them instead of it eating at the stand and being that the owner seemed to trust every idea Naruto had he'd invested in the idea and was now getting better business than ever.  
I slowly walked inside and the owner and Ayame greeted me with warm smiles on their faces.  
I saw there was a large line but when I turned away the owner shouted at me.

"Sakura, what did you want pet?" I always felt like shuddering when someone called me pet, but I guessed he was only being polite and I walked myself back in slightly.  
"Well no it's nothing, just Naruto had a little bit of a turn yesterday and I thought if I brought him some ramen he'd cheer up, but you've got a line so I'll com-"

"No!" The owner interrupted me. I tilted my head.  
Ayame has already rushed off to prepare more noodles. "Pork or Beef did you want Sakura?" He asked me kindly. I felt bad holding all these people and they were angrily staring at me for being rude but I couldn't help if they already insisted.

"Pork please" I shouted knowing Naruto liked both but I preferred pork.

After a few moments Ayame came rushing back with two containers full of steaming pork ramen.  
I blinked wondering if I'd have enough money for two but as I felt in my pocket for my purse the owner held up his hand.

"No, Sakura" he said and as I placed my money on the counter he took my hand. "You both have been costumers for years it won't hurt for two more on the house" He said grinning widely.  
Ayame joined the smile and I sighed in defeat re-pocketing my purse and taking the containers.

I thanked them both and walked away from Ichiraku quickly.  
For a moment a glanced at the prices and was glad they were on the house seeing as I had far from enough money to pay for both.  
They were both so giving to me, I'd never been so glad to be a regular customer.

As I came to see Naruto's high window I looked carefully across the dusty road.

Nothing was coming either way and as half seven in the morning neared more people had filled he roads.

Mothers with their children, young genin going to the academy and the usual jounin who I know knew working so close with Tsunade. I waved at them with my free hand before quickly walking into Naruto's building.  
If I would've been stable I would've pushed off and travelled up there but while having the ramen I didn't want to drop it if it was a gift.  
I walked the dark stair case and could see a dim light coming from Naruto's doorway.

I reached his door and knocked sheepishly.  
If he'd upset his stomach and was sick everywhere I'd definitely have to ready my own stomach.

But he called from the inside and I pushed the door with my free arm.

He must've seen me struggling and opened the door for me having to catch me as I stumbled forward.  
"Sakura.." He said shocked.  
I stepped back gaining my balance and looked up at him.  
Then I realised why he'd used that tone of voice.  
There he was standing before me with just his underwear on.

I felt my mouth open and cursed that I'd done it, he laughed whole heartedly and I watched as his toned stomach moved only slightly.  
I then flushed a dark red; I was as bad as Hinata.

Although I know if she would've dared seen Naruto like this she was more likely to have an emotional breakdown of embarrassment overloads.

I suddenly regained my composure and giggled as Naruto finished laughing.

"I-I'm sorry Naruto" I said suddenly staring at my feet.  
"Don't worry about it aye Sakura-chan" He said slinging his muscular arm around me and holding me close.

I giggled again and jokingly pushed his arm off.  
He laughed and I calmed myself hearing him at peace.

"I'm gonna go put a shirt on okay Sakura?" He asked suddenly.

"Yeah, go ahead" I said laughing at myself.  
He walked away from me and pulled out a black sort of tank shirt out of a chest of drawers and began to slip his arms in it.  
I watched as his tight abs flexed and suddenly the shirt fell over them hiding them.

"Hey Sakura-chan stop staring will you, you're putting me on edge!" He said chuckling.

I laughed awkwardly, my eyes tore themselves away from Naruto and I walked over to his table and placed the two containers of ramen down.

My arms now felt less heavy and I laughed as I looked at his dirty surroundings.

"Can you not clean Naruto, Honestly" I said as I walked over to his bed and shook out his sheets.

"What do you think?" He laughed whole heartedly.

I smiled and my eyes calmed as I saw his familiar cat looking sleeping hat.

It'd always made me laugh when we slept on missions and seeing it again now reminded me of them. I held it then close to my chest and then felt piercing eyes on my back.

"Sakura-chan, is everything okay?" He asked concerning tones running through his voice like a river.

I nodded quickly and put the hat back on to his bed.

"I just remember how young you looked in it is all" I said suddenly.  
He smiled and let one of his hands scratch his head as he usually did.

He began to clean and I wondered whether he'd seen the ramen or not but I ignored it and kept cleaning around him as he folded his clothes properly.

When we were finished he sighed and flopped down onto his bed.

I smiled at him and walked over to his table.

"Have you got any chop sticks Naruto?" I asked looking around his counters.

"Umm yeah in the drawer by the kettle" He said still lying on his bed.

"Oh thanks" I said finding them, I knew where he kept bowls being that I'd washed up for him before but was surprised to see so many clean.

Usually they were all stained from previously demolished ramen but I guess Naruto rarely ate at home anymore.

He was always out on missions nowadays.

I placed two bowls on his table filled them with pork ramen before walking over to him and dropping the chopsticks on his stomach.

He flinched and his big blue eyes shot open taking the chopsticks.

I walked away and sat on a chair beginning on my own ramen.

Naruto's eyes suddenly sparkled as he saw another steaming bowl beside mine.

"Sakura-chan you are perfect!!" He said and ran over to sit next to me before greedily tucking into his own ramen.

I smiled at him as I saw his happy face once again.

Once we'd both finished he sat back and rubbed his stomach. "That was great" He said suddenly. "I feel much better"

I smiled. "I didn't think you were really all to alert earlier" I said smiling.

"Pssh neither were you, your eyes got a bit well, delayed is the word?" He said laughing. I blushed again, not even knowing why.

Naruto was attractive but I didn't find him attractive.

To me he was like maybe a second cousin.

Really hot when you look at him but he's your family so you now it's best to not do anything.

I laughed at my own weird thoughts and Naruto chuckled even though he had no idea why.

"I best go really Naruto, Tsunade was expecting me to pick up paperwork half an hour ago" I said suddenly piling our bowls together in his sink.

"Tsunade-baa chan is probably still asleep after all she drank yesterday you know that. Anyway she told me that I should come to her early to talk about a mission but I knew she wouldn't be awake" He said smirking.

I shook my head, trust Naruto to think something like that.

"But if you're going up, I might as well go see what she wants" He said getting up and looking for his forehead protector.

He found it and quickly fastened it around his head before pulling on some shoes as I did the same.

As we walked down the stairs we realised that the temperature had considerably dropped but not really caring we just continued to walk briskly along the Konaha main road.

We made small talk as we usually did, nothing interesting obviously just the usual.

Things that were insignificant unless made important; we talked about the weather, Tsunade's new way to give up drinking, Naruto's previous missions, my own tons of paperwork and occasionally we talked about those old days.

But not today, no today we talked only about Naruto's previous mission and Tsunade's new way to give up drinking.

I laughed as Naruto pointed out the many ways she wouldn't succeed and I agreed with them all as he did put up a good argument.

Soon we reached the bottom of the Hokage tower and started our way walking up the mounds of steps to the top.

Naruto humoured me on the way saying why they couldn't just bring Tsunade to the bottom so we didn't have to walk a mountain to see her.

I, yet again, agreed with his valid point and after a little while we both stopped to take a breather before sighing and walking up the rest of the steps.

I pointed out they were also dangerous, with no railing on the side and being quite narrow to the wall.

I also pointed out that if you were rushing down and someone was rushing up it was quite possible for you both to be part of a nasty collision resulting in someone taking a quite brutal fall no doubt.

Naruto agreed but we laughed it off knowing Tsunade would never agree, she'd give an excuse like _"you're ninja mould your chakra to your feet and stick yourself to the steps" _she always came out with something obtuse like that.

We took our time after reaching three-quarters of the way up and seemed to just wander ourselves up as we talked about her disrespect for Naruto.  
Obviously if Tsunade had overheard us we'd both be in for it and personally I thought they both were just as bad as one another but I couldn't say.

It's not like I could pick between my sensei and my best friend.

But I often found myself doing just that.

Naruto knew though, and he wouldn't ever take it the wrong way if I had to work another night for Tsunade rather than pay him a visit.

But I knew I felt bad, really the both of us had no-one but each other.  
And even though we had each other's friendship it wasn't like we saw each other all that often with missions and my paperwork.

Yet, the times we did spend, it just seemed there was no time between us.

I loved it.

We reached the top and I pushed Naruto forward playfully and we both chuckled straightening up after the long trek and made our way up to Tsunade's office.

Naruto obviously had to see her but I was only picking up some paperwork for a little bit of work, I'd do it at home but knowing Naruto was with me I thought I may as well wait for him and at my suggestion he agreed wanting to spend some more time with me.

And obviously I was glad of the company so I smiled as he knocked loudly on the office's large wooden doors.

I carried on and gave him a dignified wave as he slowly entered through the doors.

My office wasn't far from Tsunade's now; she gave me quite a large room where the Third had often used to paint in.  
They'd even left some of his painting in there; I had hung them on the wall proudly. If Naruto was to become Hokage I told him that he should enforce the rule of a portrait of the Hokage to be done from his rein onwards.

Because now, well young children who never knew the Third will never know even what he looked like.

Naruto deserved a portrait, I'd grown to love his ways over the years and I'd be proud to call him my Hokage.

I smiled at the thought of Naruto's face if he became our Hokage; I'd be there for him all the way through it. Maybe he'd even let me do Shizune's current job.

I pushed on my doors and they opened slowly revealing my office before me. Walking in I could smell the scent of tea fill my senses. "Maybe Ino was right about the whole caffeine thing" I thought and smiled to myself opening the window slightly and letting crisp air fall through.

I walked to the desk that barely came off the floor and gathered the papers I'd been preparing the few days before.  
It was something to do with what Jutsu's they taught at the academy, they'd given me a list of their recent and their proposed ones and I had to ask Tsunade then file them back.

Yet she'd not given me and answer and so I chose myself.

It wasn't a big deal being that the jutsu's asked weren't particularly harmful for genin to use and obviously the academy wouldn't pick any jutsu that would specifically be intended to hurt someone.

I picked up the papers and placed them into a folder that had a large tie around it as to stop the paper from falling out everywhere.

It was my own invention since Tsunade had so much unfinished paperwork and I was glad of it once it was officially made.  
A smile passed my face as I slipped the papers inside and closed the large window I'd just opened.

I locked it with a small silver key that I always kept on a chain around my neck.  
It opened most of the windows in Konaha being that the person that fitted one window usually fitted all.  
In emergencies it always seemed useful and so I never seemed to leave it.

And even this one time, after Sasuke left and when it came around to his birthday.  
I went to his house, and came in through a window.  
But just stood at his sliding door, seeing the silhouettes of the things inside his bedroom.  
I'd placed my hand on the door and just stood there.  
Missing him before leaving again.

Because sometimes I just had to miss him.

My hood shook and I pushed the chain back under my kimono before grabbing the folder and heading out of the room.

I closed my own large doors behind me and went towards Tsunade's office, for a moment I wondered whether it'd be a good idea to go in but I rethought my actions being that Naruto's mission could've been private.  
I decided it best to just wait outside, yet as I neared the large wooden doors I heard the voice of Naruto, shouting... Distressed.

It wasn't my place to eaves drop but I didn't want to have to find out from Ino what had upset him.  
I gently leaned up against the door and tried my best to listen to their conversation.

Their voices were barely audible and I had to push my ear right up to hear hardly anything but then it seemed to clear and I sighed.  
"You can't do that Tsunade-baa chan!!" Naruto shouted and I heard a slam of her table as he more than likely was hitting his fists about.  
"Naruto-kun is right Tsunade-sama it isn't right to send her away for it, It wouldn't be right and you know it" Shizune's worried voice said.  
I heard Tsunade sigh unusually loudly and stand up from her chair.  
If I knew her as well as I did right about now she'd be taking a sip from her sake cup while looking out the large series of windows over-looking over Konaha.  
"After the recent battles with the wind and water countries we're short of capable shinobi" She started and I heard her take a long sip then hit her sake cup back down onto her desk.

"I wouldn't send her if it weren't for the circumstance, but I don't plan on when other villages will attack our men and women!" She said harshly.  
I wondered who they must've been on about, maybe Naruto was worried about Hinata.  
Listening hard I was dying to know where they were sending her.  
The voices suddenly became muffled again though and I almost cursed out loud from their sudden silence.

"She won't be able to cope with it alone; it's too much for her. It's too much for anyone that knew him"

Naruto's soft voice shocked me.

Was it… him?

I wouldn't expect they'd send any of out available jounin on this sort of mission.  
Available ninja were my medic team mostly and we'd be unable to bring anyone back usually.  
We were medics to help, not to fight.

I thought through the available female ninja left in our village at present that weren't occupied.  
The list was short, very short.  
And I realised the only possible capable kunoichi's would include myself, Ino and Hinata.  
Ten-ten had trained a few younger female genin and they were out on training as Ten-ten had become jounin and there wasn't time for them to come back on short notice.

The voices began to sigh and I listened at my best again.  
"I haven't the choice anymore; I and the Sand's Kazekage have agreed that her skill is capable to defend herself. The decision is made, Sasuke will be returned to Konaha"

I felt a stunned silence, it was sudden.  
It was like I needed to pinch myself, but if I did I'd be to numb to feel anything.

Numerous attempts had been made to bring back Sasuke, but all, unfortunately had failed miserably, and now they were appointing one kunoichi for the job?  
Tsunade must've been insane, my mind saddened at the thought of losing Ino or Hinata.

But whoever they'd pick, she'd really need all the help she could get.

Sasuke, well he.  
I stopped in my path of thought, I wondered what they'd do to him upon his return, he'd betrayed his village in pursuit of the murder of his elder brother and in the process killed many Shinobi.

He was looking for Orochimaru to fulfil his dreams, anyone who could come in contact with either of them seemed to be in for serious trouble no doubt.

My body sighed, what would I do when Sasuke came back, I wanted him here, sure I did.  
But wouldn't it be difficult, I'd gone for so long without him I'd never know what to say, how to act around him.

My stomach tied itself in knots and I resisted the urge to talk to it telling it we'd be fine.

I did want him back, I loved him of course I wanted him back.

But it was, difficult.

Very difficult.

* * *

**A/N-**

Soo here we are again, same stroy just tons better I really like this Chapter, it's such an improvement from the first don'tcha think?  
I hope you all enjoy this one as much as I am, i'm writing the third Chapter at the moment.  
You will noticed some thign have been cut out and things have been added in.  
I'm sorry if your favourite bit has been adapted but I did things in the way that makes them more beleivable, in my point of view anyway.

Hopefully if you review enough on this Chapter i'll get the second up pretty soon, I have to go through it again to check everythign is special and works so just read, review and make it worth while otherwise I might as well stop the story.

But I love you all for being nice -

**RYOUKOx **


	2. The scroll that decided her purpose

**PHILOSOPHIES FOR THEIR HATRED**

**Wait for me Re-write by RYOUKOx**

"**First and foremost and ItachiXSakura fic, Kay [;?" **

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Naruto, but I'll take my chances with Itachi.

_**Italics-**__FLASHBACKS_

**Chapter 2.**

**The scroll that decided her purpose**

**Sakura Haruno**

The way that he made me feel in the pit of my stomach triggered the butterflies that had always seemed to fly for him re-awaken and buzz wildly yet I wanted to freeze them or something similar so I could think peacefully for a moment.  
It didn't work and I stumbled back against the wall away from the doors trying to take in a cleansing breath.

I'd be able to smell his wondrous scent again and if they calmed him, maybe, just maybe he'd accept me.  
Then we'd hold hands and smile all day long!  
I suddenly had the urge to fall about laughing at my stupidity, it felt as if the 12 year old me had come out to have her say on the matter.  
I ignored her knowing Sasuke would never dare hold my hand, but even if he was brought back and he was still as ignorant as ever I think I'd ask to watch over him, like a permanent study.

To watch him at home again just being himself the way that I'd always remembered it, I'd love it beyond imagination.  
Just to seem his standing there with one of his pale hands leaning on his waist.

Or just to watch him make his fire jutsu, or just. I sighed stupidly thinking of all the childhood things he used to do that made all the girls easily fall for him.  
He would've more than likely grown out of them all; he'd be a strong young man now.  
He'd probably not even give a shit about me I though, I sighed though.

But I guess really, I wouldn't care.

My heart seemed to linger in my throat and I felt my hand rise up and stroke the pendant that hung with my key.  
It was silver but that wonderful faded kind so it had little black parts on it.  
Two blue jewels were in the top and bottom of its oval shape and in the middle stood a fawn playing a pipe.  
I don't know why it meant so much to me but I'd always worn it and in a way whenever I wore it, it reminded me of my team seven days and times that were, well happier.

Obviously days now were still happy but when I was younger there just seemed to be so much to care about, for a little while anyway.

My necklace always kept me in a distant dream of thinking we'd stay Team 7 forever.  
But dreams, yeah dreams die.

I could hear movement again but it was loud and I took a few steps away now listening at a wall slightly out of sight.  
This way if they came out I could pretend I was just walking out from my office on my way downstairs.  
They'd never know and I laughed as I thought of _'the perfect crime'._

They were muffled and Naruto was saying something that I couldn't rightly hear.  
"But she…. It isn't…. Do that….Sakura-chan!!" I heard in-between muffles.  
It felt like my heart had suddenly missed a beat.  
My hands shivered and I tried to tear myself from the wall but I found myself wanting to know why, further details, anything as long as I had some explanation.

But they'd gone quite, I'd probably missed something but I felt my heart and found no surprise as it beat so hard I thought it might burst through and shock me even more.

Suddenly Tsunade's chair squeaked and I heard movement and almost instantly I pushed my ear as close to the wall as humanly possible.  
"Shizune" Tsunade appointed and I listened intently. "If you ready the scroll and take it to Sakura's ANBU room I'll call her to go there later" there wasn't a word said and I heard Shizune walk away from her seat.

I understood that Naruto had already protested but it wasn't like him to keep this suspiciously quiet.  
I heard him muffle some words that I couldn't make out other than slight whispers.

"Naruto, firstly I don't want a word form you about this to me again, And God forbid secondly don't tell Sakura, let her find out by herself. Then at least if she needs you then I'll allow you to talk" I seemed to hear Naruto give a grunt of disatisisfied approval and heard him get up followed by a stream of footsteps and I readied myself to put on a grin and meet Naruto outside.

I had to take a breath though and steady myself mentally I couldn't let them know I'd heard it all.  
The door gently opened and I walked forward brightly.  
"Hey Naruto, all done?" I asked breezily.

He smiled un-easily and gave me a nod.  
Smiling back at him I could feel my heart pounding away in its rib cage, the cage part being quite literal.

Naruto was quiet and I stared at him as if nothing was wrong but I had to really cover the fact I knew nothing and I used a diversion.

"Naruto? Is something wrong?" I asked trying to sound worried; it was a fake type of worry but sounded believable.  
I think he must've been a little stuck for words, but it was more than understandable.  
It was like asking him 'So are you gonna tell your best friend that she has to go retrieve someone who could and probably will kill her?"

As I thought, he wouldn't answer.  
Or at least he was struggling.  
"Yeah fine" He began, his eyes never left the floor in front of him. "I-I'm just worried about my mission. That's all" He said trailing off of his seemed to blink very slowly.

I was shocked to know he'd lied but it was part of my plan.  
"Hmm? How come what did Tsunade tell you?"  
He scratched his head; his brain wasn't quick enough when it came to cunning plans or lying.

"Nothing really, just a retrieval mission for some type of expensive..." he looked around him and must've caught sight of something.  
"Expensive... fans that's it retrieval mission for expensive fans!" He said smiling triumphantly.  
I guessed he hadn't realised that a retrieval of expensive fans wasn't a mission that he really needed to worry about in the slightest.

But I knew he wouldn't tell me about my own mission and so I just left it as we walked back down the steps.

It was weird really, initially the thought of the mission was scaring me so much that I wanted to curl up into a little ball and refuse to come out but really this was probably good for me.  
The pit of my stomach seemed to disagree though as it was almost boiling over and making me feel sick beyond belief.  
My head felt as if it were spinning on a wheel and I could feel my heart only now dying down into it's normal beats as I'd scared myself so much.

But how was I supposed to let Naruto know that I was scared, that I was... petrified.

He must have picked up upon my little day dream though as he was uneasily watching me as I clutched my folder tightly to my chest.  
"Sakura?" He said and I looked at him instantly.

My reactions must've been heightened or something as he seemed taken aback by my sudden reaction.  
"Yes?" I asked blinking, trying terribly to calm my frantic nerves.

He paused for a moment and I looked at his as he struggled for words.

We walked on slowly just reaching the bottom of the Hokage's steps.

"Never mind" He said quietly and looked away from me.

I obviously couldn't say a word, even if I wanted to. Naruto and I both knew an eaves dropping was a bad habit that shouldn't be practised to overhear missions.

Vital information could've been being discussed and no-one needed an eaves dropper hang about to find out what was going on.

I blinked away from him, my green eyes fixed on the dusty road that we both trod on.

People were now scurrying the streets as it neared half past one in the afternoon.  
Looking around most of the people around were Mother's doing their needed grocery shopping but I stopped watching them when I heard a sniffle come from Naruto's direction.  
I looked over to him and saw his face turned from mine and one his arms raised up wiping his face.

Was he crying over me?

I hadn't even left yet.  
What was I saying?!

I hadn't accepted anything yet, I wasn't going anywhere. Why was I being so stupid?

I was still set in my ways thinking this was surely to dangerous for me to ever think about accepting.  
Sasuke and I were close as friends and he knew I loved him unconditionally but like he would care, everyone else knew my feeling for him and yet he would rather kill me than spend five more seconds acknowledging me.  
I'd be giving up my life for someone that I couldn't capture anyway.

Naruto sniffed again and I looked up at him my heart giving an ache.  
I knew Naruto missed Sasuke almost as much as I did, but it must've been hard for him.  
If I accepted the mission and Sasuke (which he probably would) killed me in action, Naruto would have… no-one.

I couldn't leave Naruto; he meant so much to me now.  
He needed other people to be there, we'd been so happy as a little trio.  
Naruto was the sort of person that when living alone and having no-one could see people better than him as equals and would surpass them. He had friends now and that made him the equal he'd always wanted to be and yet now knowing he still had goals he had support for them.  
Maybe if I brought Sasuke back Naruto could show him just what he'd always wanted too.

I smiled on the inside before the sound of another sniff came from Naruto's direction.  
Realising how ridiculous my thoughts were I placed a hand on Naruto's back.  
"What's up?" I asked generally worried.  
Naruto hesitated and pulled me aside for a moment.

He turned me to face him and he seemed to be crouching down, he made me feel short and his strong arms wrapped around me tightly at that moment.  
I could feel him crying into my shoulder and I put my own arms around his muscular body.  
He didn't say a word and neither did I, but in a way I didn't really think right then we needed them.  
We both were quite content just standing there, hugging in public.

For a little bit we had some quite disrespectful noises made but I ignored them, this was Naruto I couldn't have cared less.

He suddenly let go and stood himself up straight.  
"Sakura" he said softly looking up towards the sky.

I blinked at him before replying.  
"Yes?" I said in a wondering tone.

He sighed slightly.

"If you left Konaha, for a little while, would you make sure to write me?" He asked.  
I tilted my head in confusion.  
"Firstly, I'd never leave Konaha" I said a smile fakely plastered on my face...

"And secondly when do I ever step out of those gates without you beside me?" I said pointing in the direction of the hugely exaggerated Konaha gates.

Naruto's smile seemed to soften and he hugged me again for a little bit, but it was half hearted he knew if I accepted the mission he wouldn't be able to accompany me.  
With the Kyuubi still trapped in his body he'd be easy bait while out with a girl like me and no back-up.  
In all circumstances, this was going to be impossible.

As Naruto looked away from me I looked down the road, Naruto's place was quite close and as we neared it he felt like this was the last time he'd speak to me.  
It wasn't but I could tell it from the way that he seemed to stare at me every five minutes and then when I caught him he flushed a deep red and looked away in utter embarrassment.

At first I guess I thought it was sort of flattering but, it wasn't for anything other than I guess, maybe he was thinking it was the last time he'd see me.

And that's why I let him, if I accepted the mission I'd more than likely be assigned straight away and not have the time to see Naruto before leaving.  
I mean If he'd been given the mission, I'd want to take in every detail of him before I left.

The last time I expected to see Naruto though was a day far, far from now.  
When we were both very old and understood what it was to die from old age rather than in action, poisoned or some other un-natural cause that threatened our lives most of the time.

Naruto glanced at me then for a long time and when I looked at him his eyes didn't move and I smiled at him.

People around us must've figured we'd gone insane staring at each other while we walked slowly down the road.  
Something caught me eyes and I noticed us walking past Naruto's apartment.

Well it wasn't an apartment; it was just where he lived.  
I poked him gently and signalled to the high window of his room and he blinked at me for a while before looking and scratching his head while his infamous grin held up his cheeks.

My heart fluttered to see his real smile lighting up and I smiled back at him genuinely and he (yet again) quickly embraced me, not daring to say a word before he pushed of springing up toward his open window.

I watched as if to see him turn and wave at me but he didn't, he usually always did and I wondered if it was really that hard for him to say goodbye to me.

Looking at the floor I knew I might never go back to him and maybe that was for the best.  
If I left Naruto know I'd remember the last time I'd seen him he would've smiled at me whole heartedly and we'd laughed and smiled as we usually had done.

---------------

The stalls blew up the smell off spicy ramen and it made me feel slightly sick and I decided it best to start heading back home before Tsunade ordered me to go to my ANBU room.

It was going to be a very dreaded note from Tsunade and all I really wanted to do was not think about it but as I walked through the busy streets I couldn't even distract myself onto the many passers that fled through the road. No, my mind had stuck onto the thought of seeing Sasuke again.

Weirdly at the thought of his name I seemed to hold a blink longer than normal.  
It hurt to even think about his name let alone the person himself, but the more I pondered it the more I thought maybe it would be good for me.  
I wouldn't be able to contain myself with the joy I'd feel if I retrieved Sasuke from Orochimaru's safely.  
I'd be forever classed a hero.

Laughing at myself suddenly snapped into my head as I sounded like a younger version of Naruto.  
A hero? Me?  
The words didn't fit into the same sentence correctly.

I wasn't the sort of girl to receive praise of a daily basis for my heroic actions.  
People thanked me yes, all the time.  
They'd thank me for all my finished paperwork, for organising the appointments at the Hospital, for helping out in the ward when they needed help and for taking that extra bit of time to make someone feel at home.

But it wasn't really enough, who ever wanted to be remembered for passing out prescription pills at the hospital or for typing up the last of someone else's work load?

Certainly not I and that was for sure, I knew it.  
I felt bad though, before that had always satisfied me.  
With the warm smiles that people gave me as they passed me by in Tsunade's office I never really needed much more than that.  
I'd smiled back and not say a word, because obviously (unlike some others I could point out) I respected my rank and how high our Hokage was.

In a way though I hated myself for not being more, flamboyant.  
Wishing to have my time where I could shout out at her that she wasn't doing her job right and that if she wasn't willing to pick up her stacks of paper behind her then maybe she wasn't fit to be a Hokage at all!

I laughed at myself as I turned the corner of the street on to the familiar surrounding of my street.

I'd never dream of saying those sort of things to Tsunade and neither would I get away with them in a million years, I was unsure how she put up with Naruto.  
He had some nerve but I was always sure that she'd reach that line sooner of later and lash out at him by the ear telling him that he can spend the night with our captive S-rank criminals.

She never would though, she knows better than to lock up her best shinobi.

I shook my head trailing off when the matter at hand was Sasuke.  
I didn't even know what I'd have to do to get him back, all I knew was he'd be retrieved.  
Maybe there'd been some new technique I'd be able to use to get him to wilfully co-operate.

But I seriously doubted it and almost laughed at my own stupidity.  
If there had been a new technique discovered that made wanted criminal wilfully agree to do whatever you wanted there would be no accessible crime records.  
Every criminal would have a useless purpose.

I laughed quietly to myself as I neared my home and crossed the empty road, but as I crossed I noticed a black (and please excuse my description) But a black, thing go speeding around a back road to the far right of a house near mine.  
Watching it I focused on rare features to see what I would use to identify them by.  
I saw a large round pink looking ball held in front of the woman.  
It was easy to define it was a woman by… well, need I explain?

But then I realised, it was Shizune.  
The short dark hair hadn't given it away and I almost chuckled when I realised the "large round pink looking ball" had been Tsunade's pet pig Tonton.

Sighing though, I knew where she was headed.

The back roads behind my house all took you to different locations but the main road (Which she was following) took you straight to the ANBU dorm.

The scroll would be for me but for now I just led my head drop slightly forward as I pushed the house gate and walked to my front door.

I could see Shizune totter round a tree through my window as I entered the house and as I closed the large door behind me I was glad to be inside and slightly out of the madness that was around today.

Anger fused me up being that it had started quite well.  
But what was I to do, with a new mission looming in the unspoken air I just had to make the most of all the time I already knew I had.  
And I guess in a way I was glad I knew, this way I could prepare myself for the worst, anything could be written in that scroll.

I felt my beating heart give an extra hard thump against my chest, what if Sasuke had written to Konaha enquiring about me  
that was why they were asking for me?

Maybe I was their only way to get him back.  
My body shivered at the thought, I'd be so undeniably happy if he'd written, yet the butterflies in my stomach fluttered and I worried.

Sasuke could be the cruel person I'd always hated in him now.  
If he'd write to Konaha enquiring for me he could be asking about anything.  
Then a lump in my throat could be felt, if he wanted my body for his return.

Whether Konaha was giving my body to Sasuke as a sadistic present to get him to return. I guess I didn't know.

But I didn't think about it and just hoped that Konaha was loyal to its citizens.  
I doubted highly that they would willingly let me kill myself to bring back a criminal with the possible man power to take them all out.

I guessed it was best not to think about it, I was already trying my best to take my mind off the way Naruto's face would look if I walked out of the gates without him.  
It was like a death sentence for me to leave and we both knew it.  
Well maybe he didn't know that I knew it, but I did and it hurt.  
Right deep down inside of me, it seemed to rip me apart.  
Because I knew that I wanted to live to see the smiling faces of my dearest friends.  
I wanted to see Naruto become Hokage!

And the dorm would hold pretty much the end of my life, yet I found myself wanting to go.  
Just to see, not to accept it just maybe a glance at what the scroll said.

----------------

The wind blew in through the kitchen window and I realised I'd been standing on the backside of the door for almost a half an hour as I pondered the thought that now seemed to be on a constant loop in my mind.  
But as I walked into my kitchen and stared out of the window at the way Shizune had headed, I knew; I couldn't dare face the walk to my dorm knowing what fate I could have.

If I never opened it at least I could stay in the blissful time where I was free of problems.  
Yet I wasn't free of problems being that my mind would still be thinking of him, and that scroll and the mission.

But I couldn't go.

I could barely think about anything else and so I had to tear my mind away.

I looked around me and could see the disgusting way that my house had been left.  
There were cups and plates left from days before if not weeks, I always found it difficult to bring myself to clean a kitchen.

For any other room it never seemed to make a difference to me but a kitchen seemed too grimy but I soon found myself sifting through the very same plates and cups placing them at the sink and turning on the water letting them soak for a little while.  
I shined up the counter and took a few deep breaths leaning against the newly polished counter.

It had seemed shorter than I'd expected but distantly I heard the Grandfather clock chime loudly and I could feel my body shudder with its sound.

I actually hated being alone in the downstairs of my own home; it was empty without other people.

Unlike the upstairs, because well usually a family would live downstairs.  
Being upstairs it was just as if I was alone anyway.  
My mother would sleep in her room and I'd sleep in mine, we'd barely cross paths upstairs but while standing alone in the Kitchen I felt lonely.

Like I was in need of someone's constant company, I guess to keep me happy, to keep me sane, without him.

Without Sasuke.

But with the news of this new mission, my thoughts were occupied.  
My once wandering vacant mind was now filled with question, but also… boundaries.

I pushed away from the counter and wandered my home; taking no detailed attention to my familiar surroundings and just merely pondering today's events. They'd really affected me, even without obvious intention. But then again once being told the information I had could you blame me?

I scanned the vicinity and found my sea foam eyes glued to the clouds that passed through the light blue sky.

Maybe I was destined for this crucial mission, when his midnight eyes had looked at me that very last time, they'd done so much more damage than anyone could've expected. I could see them even now, six years after, like he was still only stood mere centimetres from me.  
My mind followed the winding path into the part of me that longed for him still, the part of me that had stayed 12 years old and could see him stood still, hands in his pocket and his head bowed to hide his selfless smile.

I closed my eyes and could see him clear as day, but he blurred as droplets made their way down my face.  
They were warm and as I wiped them away I wondered how I could still accumulate tears when you would've thought I ran.

I was then interrupted as I heard a rapping sort of noise at the door; this was then followed by the sound of shuffling feet, two short raspy coughs and then a calling of my name.  
A familiar process if any and I knew that it was best to wipe away my last tears and inwardly smiled at Naruto's oblivious state; the poor boy didn't even notice that he always repeated this process whenever he decided to visit me at home.

Part of me wished to tell him but then the other part queried and I quite liked to know it was him. Therefore knowing it was him would always freak him out when I'd know it was him before answering.

But yet I sighed knowing that he could be playing Tsunade's "barer of bad news". I called to him saying that I was coming while desperately trying to hide my blurred vision but his constant rapping increased and his voice had the hint of anger that put me on edge.  
My hopes that this visit would be pleasant then diminished as I realised he never got angry with me.

I began then to quickly jog toward the door and could see his dark shadow through it, still.  
Stiff.

I took a deep breath and as I reached for the handle I knew he wouldn't greet me with his everyday smile.

No, upon opening the door he just stood there, head down.. Silent.

"Naruto?" I asked, bending slightly as to see his whiskered face.

He gave no reply, just fumbled in his deep pockets.  
I blinked at him before moving aside and gesturing him to enter.  
He obliged- yet his head still bowed down as before. I knew then what was to come but silently I just let myself close the door and savour my peaceful moment before Naruto began with unavoidable bad news.

His breathing was steady, yet his hands hadn't stopped themselves fidgeting since he had screamed out for me earlier.  
So unexpectedly I took his shaking hands causing his to glance up at me with a distant, lost look in his cerulean eyes. I blinked and he stepped away from me, his back to my face.

Inwardly, I managed a chuckle knowing that I'd have to fake a reaction for Naruto's sake.

But the tall blonde sighed and his hands fell to his sides; one of which loosely holding a scroll.

My heart made an extra-thump in its rib-_cage _as he seemed to chuckle under his breath.  
"I knew I'd be alone in the end-" He didn't finish his sentence but his hand seemed to wipe a stray tear.  
"Naruto I-"

"Sakura-chan" He interrupted me. "Often even the strongest and most successful of shinobi die alone" He paused, a cough overtaking him and I reached my hand toward his back but at my touch his body stiffened and he took a sharp, audible inward breath. "Never would I want to see my friends die alone Sakura"

I nod in his direction and he acknowledged me although he hadn't been facing me.  
I just knew he knew y'know?

----------------

For a little while silence had struck both Naruto and myself, it was unusual for us both to stay this quite but at the same time neither of us seemed bothered.  
I just merely pondered his words, there were only two explanations I could think of; Naruto had no idea that I was secretly informed of my mission and was going to explain his statements or that he knew that I'd overheard his earlier conversation with Tsunade-sama and his statements had been his way of letting me know that he'd hate me to die on my lone mission.

Either way he suddenly turned to face me showing his teary eyes but warm smile in a way that I knew he was trying to hide how he really felt. Lonely, deserted … Lost.  
The feelings he'd felt when every one of his close friends left him.

Funnily enough he was mirroring emotions that I'd tried so hard to hide on numerous occasions.

His free hand cupped my face and he let another single tear once again roll down his face before closing in on me. The scroll he'd once held had dropped and made a large clatter on the floor but he didn't seem to care as his now free hand held the other side of my face then he did something unexpected.

He leaned in and slowly closed of his cerulean eyes from view and his lips hovered mine slightly; his musky yet fresh scent lingering in my senses.  
He moved forward and bumped his lips onto my own as if accidental and there he was… kissing me.

My eyes closed and a million thoughts flew through my mind.

My best friend, cupping my face, kissing my lips and yet although it should have been wrong it wasn't our moment of lust or passion.  
No, when he was there in front of me with his eyes letting tears fall freely he was kissing me in fear.

Whether fear of losing another lifelong friend or fear of never being able to kiss me at the opportune moment, I didn't care.  
His kiss was showing the care he couldn't tell me in his own words.  
So as I broke the kiss and hugged him close it was out of friendship for the only boy who had ever cared to understand.  
Naruto Uzamaki, a name you never could forget.

He sighed and let his large hands that had just been gripping me tightly, fall to his sides as he placed a gentle kiss upon my forehead.  
"Sorr-"  
"There's no need" I said interrupting his apology. My eyes creased as I smiled at him and he blushed oh-so-slightly before giving a half genuine smile back at me.

It was weird, Naruto and I had grown into our understanding of each others mental and physical strength but when it came to intimacy and feeling both of us seemed apologetic and weak.

Naruto sighed and picked up the scroll he'd previously dropped.  
I blinked though, as he held it out to me.

I lifted my hand and touched the soft green ribbon that tightly wrapped the scroll and my eyes slightly widened knowing that Green ribbon always meant S-rank missions.  
"You don't have to Sakura-chan" He said and I signalled a dignified nod toward him, but looking at it's unopened state and already knowing what it would say how could I possibly refuse.

Gently I unwrapped the green ribbon and watched as it fell to the floor gracefully; filling the floor space between Naruto and myself, I then let the end of the scroll unravel and unknowingly had began to read the kanji of my name.

Yet Naruto stopped me and tugged at my arm while looking towards on of the low sofa's that resided in the room next to this. Knowing what he was implying I followed him without realising the even he'd have to sit down for this.

Once perched on the end of my seat I spread the scroll out on the coffee table in front and began reading, as did Naruto.

----------------

_Haruno Sakura,_

_Since I met you and your team colleagues all that time ago I knew that you were wishing to excel above them and be treated as an equal. Being that Naruto and Sasuke seemed at such a higher level than you, it degrades your well-being and you have less confidence, you live your life being saved.  
But you are not weak Sakura; you just need to save yourself.  
The first; My Grandfather once told me that it isn't physical strength of a shinobi that matters but their ability to see a loved one leave you but know that without tears any shinobi can live and still feel a spirit with them.  
At the time it made no sense to me but I believe now because you have cried many tears for you to live on happily you need the recognition from him._

_You have mental and physical strength and yet the one that left you was your re-assurance, he is your heart._

_**Mission Details:**_

_Required shinobi to leave Konahagakure (Hidden village in the leaves- Land of Fire): Haruno Sakura_

_Age: 18 _

_Retrieve: Uchiha Sasuke_

_Items origin: Otogakure (Hidden village in the sound- Land of Sound)_

_Dispatch: None_

_Assassinate: None_

_Companions: Take no one, unless wanted._

_**Information: **_

_I the Hokage of Konahagakure and  
We the Shinobi of Konahagakure give permission to send Haruno Sakura from the Hidden village in the leaves to retrieve Uchiha Sasuke, missing Nin for questioning upon his whereabouts and other vital information._

_The required shinobi for this mission is forbidden to deliver or assassinate any and if the aforehand are taken out then serious consequences will be required._

_Faithfully, Tsunade. (Fifth Hokage)_

----------------

I felt as if I needed to read the words again, to check.  
Like it was unreal, I began to start again on the scroll but a single tear fell and hit the kanji of "Faithfully" making it blur therefore unreadable.  
Naruto's hand lifted my chin and I cringed knowing that he'd see my teary eyes once again.  
Yet I found myself hating my own words as I saw watery trails also on his whiskered face.

Yet again, Naruto had known just how I felt, if not better than I did.

My eyes warmed to his half hearted smile and I never felt as understood as I did then. But his smile faded and his head dropped down.

"I broke my promise Sakura-chan" He began and he lifted his head back up making his eyes bore into my own. "I can't do it, I can't bring him to you" His voice was hinting at somewhat hysterical. "I tried, I did"  
His head lowered again and he bit his lip and I saw obvious tears still brimming the surface of his eyes.

"Sakura, I did" He began his voice now wavering with also a deep sadness as well as its previous hysteria. "I tried so hard, I tried, tried" Before I knew it his repetitive words had lulled me making me oblivious as he grabbed me and let his arms pull me in. "I'm sorry Sakura" He began to bury his head into my shoulder.  
Even though I was considerably shorter than him he still seemed to fit.  
His scent was still lingering him and as I felt warmth around me I could help but fit my arms around him.  
"I tried" He whispered.

"So hard.  
I tried.  
I did"

"I know Naruto, its okay now" I whispered back.

----------------

Naruto had left pretty quickly after I'd told him I accepted he couldn't bring Sasuke back. We stopped hugging and suddenly our peaceful embrace became un-easy and awkward. But I'd flashed Naruto a sweet smile and walked with him down my street before hugging him once again and watching him slowly walk away.

It had been like a goodbye but less … formal.

----------------

**The Fifth Hokage**

**Tsunade.  
**

Lifting a familiar miniature cup I sighed to myself wondering if I'd done what was right for her. But then again I could do nothing now.  
It was her choice whether to go or not and yet I felt as if I was pressuring her.  
But it was the only way I could show her my trust in her, she was perfect for the retrieval and no-one would benefit from it as much as she.

Tonton was breathing peaceful on Shizune's lap as usual and I laughed knowing really I should take better care of him, he was my pig after all. Shizune however was not so peaceful, in fact she was anxiously biting her nails and her eyes were darting around every now and again.  
Suddenly a barely audible whine was heard and I shook my head letting my eyelids fall over my eyes and sipping from my cup.  
But a loud squealing was heard and my eyes shot open focusing on a dark haired woman.

"She can't do it Tsunade-sama" She said to me while pacing back and forth afore my desk. Tonton lay dazed on the floor grunting at his sudden fall and Shizune almost squished him while doing her repeated pacing.

"She is a capable girl, she can look after herself" I began using my re-assuring tone once again on Shizune but she interrupted by slamming palms on my desk and making a stubborn face.

"But this capability Tsunade. This is death!"

At that note my muddyish looking eyes narrowed and an unfamiliar, think silence entered the room. I knew Shizune like the back of my hand and I knew a lot of the time she overreacted yet at the moment the worry that filled the features of her face was the exact same worry that was boiling in my stomach.

"Death or not, this is Sakura's choice. I don't wish to lose worthy shinobi but Sakura-"  
"Knows him" Shizune had taken the words out of my mouth and I just nodded slowly as her eyes seemed to glaze.

Who better to send, I knew that on the inside Sakura would have never let Sasuke take his dreaded steps out of Konaha.  
But if things did lead to Sakura's death I think anyone who knew her would be pleased to know she died in pursuit of her only loved one.

Tonton snorted and Shizune picked him up abruptly.  
"I trust her, she will do whatever she can to bring him home" I said standing from my comfortable chair and facing the series of large windows that looked across the village.

My eyes scanned over the roads and I heard the faint footsteps before the sounds of an opening door then a closing door and footsteps again; slowly fading.

"I do trust you Sakura"

* * *

**A/N- **I'm not sorry for this tiny bit of NaruXSaku becuase I think it brings them closer togther and it is explained. I do hope everyone liked this chapter I'm hoping to keep it as eventful as this -  
Please review I really need the advise -

I love you all

RYOUKOx


	3. The hardest part of this is leaving you

**PHILOSOPHIES FOR THEIR HATRED**

**Wait for me Re-write by RYOUKOx**

"**First and foremost and ItachiXSakura fic, Kay [;?" **

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Naruto, but I'll take my chances with Itachi.

_**Italics-**__FLASHBACKS_

**Chapter 3.**

**The hardest part of this is leaving you.**

**Haruno Sakura**

I rolled the scroll back up in an attempt to stop myself from reading the words over and over. It wasn't so much that I didn't want go it was the disbelief that I could be seeing his familiar stoic expressional face staring back at my own without it being a dream.  
The concept itself felt scary and I almost doubted myself; if I had felt this much misery at the moment he broke away from me would he be able to make up for it.

---------------

Pressed powder particles were still left on the desk; not moved, not touched. The scent of strawberry and mint teas still lingered through the shoji screens and two oversized sleeping robs still hung at either side of the double bed.

I couldn't physically move anything after both my parents had died, I'd walked to their old room to hopefully calm my heightened nerves but it ended that even though the room hadn't had visitor or inhabitancy since their deaths I still felt weirdly uneasy.  
I felt as if I was being watched and someone could've even been standing there with me. Obviously the thought was ludicrous being that nobody was around. Yet it eerily filled the air and I was even tempted to open their bedroom window and check I was alone, but I just cursed myself; why on earth would anyone be spying on me?

It was growing later now, the wind was calming and the sky's evening red colour was now integrating with midnight blues hat would soon fall to pitch black.

I left my parents' room, after I'd began to almost say a Goodbye to them tears overcame me and I had found myself sinking to the floor in what I can only describe as a mental agony.  
Like someone was poking around my head making, my mind hurt.  
It wasn't a natural feeling like a headache. It was almost as if someone had forced into my head.

But ignoring this feeling I'd left, not knowing if I'd have the inward courage to say a real goodbye to them at all; even to their memory. In my own room the feel of an ever-growing watchful eye seemed to slowly fade and to be very honest I couldn't help but feel totally relieved.

The moon that was now brightening the dark sky now produced shadows throughout my room and I sank to the wooden floor; gently brushing it with my fingertips.  
I could feel my eyelids getting heavy and gradually shielding of my sea foam eyes from view.  
I guessed I'd started to fall in and out of dreams but it was now no unfamiliarity to see those strong Uchiha features flicker through reality and into my dreams.

Wait.  
Through reality? My eyes flickered open in an instant and I seemed to scramble my room for him; it was as if I'd seen him again, in all his glory.  
As impossible as it sounded I'd even felt him warm breath creep over my pale, untouched skin.  
Like reality.

My hand gently touched the skin of my chest and I was certain I'd seen him, his bloody red eyes, his pale complexion, his long dark hair.  
They'd all been there, just there with me.

My hands squeezed at my necklace and I felt its cool metal in my hands.  
I ran my fingers over the blue miniature crystals and sighed.  
I must've been vividly dreaming; there was no other believable explanation for it other than that.

But still, I could've sworn it was …  
"Must've been my imagination, yeah"

----------------

The clock chimed and jolted me once again as I looked across whatever I could see of Konaha from my large bedroom window.  
It was unfortunate now that the Uchiha estate could be clearly visible from where I stood.  
It was unfortunate being that I often found myself looking there, wondering and watching.

I always found myself intrigued when looking upon it, seeming to always find something new that I hadn't noticed before.  
Whether that was because I looked so often I'd become hooked to its innate simplicity or not I wasn't sure.  
But today, yet again, it looked somewhat different.  
Though this time it was an unfamiliar difference.

I wished to tear my gaze away from it but no, today it did look different.  
I felt different while looking at it and suddenly the once eerie feeling of being watched was back.  
Staring at me, as before.

Chiming started again and I clenched my fist turning my knuckles a white shade.  
Awkwardly I gritted my teeth and smashed the family air loom that resided close by.  
I did feel bad, don't get me wrong but if at every fifteen minutes you heard a cheery little chime you'd hate it also.  
And anyway I was living alone and it was unlikely that I would have children to pass the clock down to and I don't think I could bare the rest of my life listening to some stupid chime.

Believe me it was more annoying than you could've ever imagined.

----------------

I'd walked down the stairs and hated their sudden creaking, I don't think I'd realised it before but now every tiny little sound seemed to be drawing my attention and un-nerving me.  
I had to stop myself several times from smashing up the staircase like I had done to the Grandfather clock , I'd realised if I decided to demolish every object that made an annoying sound I wouldn't have much furniture left in my home.

But as I came down to the ground floor of my home I guess I properly realised how late it must've gotten since Naruto left, now light could barely be seen other than from the moon.  
I turned to see it shining through the back windows of the house and followed it once again to overlook Konaha.  
Noticing again the Uchiha estate I almost was balled over backwards as I noticed, what seemed to be a miniature lamp inside one of the rooms.  
I grasped at my necklace and could feel my beat smacking rapidly at my chest.

Confusion was taking over me as there was no-way that anyone knew how to enter the estate other than myself, possibly Naruto and Tsunade.  
But there would be no reason for Naruto to go on being that he wasn't the sentimental type for visiting Sasuke's home unless he took someone with him and being that he usually only ever asked me in broad daylight I knew it wouldn't be him.  
But then again Tsunade would have no business in the estate either, I think she'd known I knew how to get in through her being my master and knowing most of the secret information I had.  
Still, why would she go in?

Everything left in the estate was mostly rubble, old furniture and blood stains.  
The only room intact was Sasuke's room being that he spent all his time in there but she wouldn't have a reason for going here and unknowingly I had the urge to see who it was.

Although I knew it was wrong to trespass, especially on a house where no one was vacant due to death or departure I couldn't help myself.

I soon found myself pulling a kunai holster around my thigh and tying a jacket-style kimono around my shoulders. But I still had no idea what I'd do when I found out who was there, I guess in the back of my mind I wished it as Sasuke.  
Finally home for me, but I banished that though as I head out the door thinking to myself that I really did know better and yet I was lingering on twelve year old thoughts still even six long years after.

The night air was icy and I tugged at my kimono tighter to keep my body heat radiating around me, although I felt it wasn't working I ignored it focusing on getting to the estate.  
I found after a few attempts that it'd been much easier to enter from quite near the estates entrance; I'd seemed to have remembered it even though I could never recall Sasuke asking me to go with him to his home.  
Though, while inside I seemed to remember things that were vague from times that I also couldn't recall, it made me uncertain of Sasuke at times, like really he'd once been such a nicer person that would invite me home with him and treat me as an equal, but I dismissed this, knowing either way I'd always love Sasuke and that was the end of it.

If it were him inside, I would treat him no different now as I did back then.  
The same respect, the same longing but just at an older, more serious age.  
And hopefully that would change his mind, knowing I was old enough to take care of myself without him but still want him there as I always had.

And we'd be happy.

The thought of it sent my heart thumping; I'd never known me to be happy unless it was with Sasuke there.  
That sounded cruel and selfish but I found it to be true, I was never as selflessly happy as I was when Sasuke was around.

---------------

I hastily walked past the large entrance gated to the Uchiha estate ad sighed at how much grief everyone other than the family felt, sometimes I thought of it as pathetic, to see so many people affected by the massacre.  
Yet I guess I was only the same, hurt and in a daze even at such a young age.  
But I myself had always felt detached from their family.

My own had less money and it was obvious, even with myself as an only child my Mother seemed to struggle to keep everything going smoothly, yet I still longed to keep up with Sasuke's family.  
But when they were murdered it worked for me in two ways, the first being more sadistic; that Sasuke could see how hard it was for a family such as mine who weren't as wealthy or strong as his, with no kekkei genkai. The second; I got to become close to him alone without interruption from the wealth of his elders getting in the way.

But now both just seem disgusting of my childhood mind to think of, as a child I guess I was much more selfish for my own benefit and in which I was quite often pleased to see other people suffer.

In a way I think this is why my interest for Sasuke grew on our introduction as genin.  
I sat shocked at his words to pursuit a "special someone" and kill him but also I think this maybe attracted me to him more than before.  
To the pursuit of power was no doubt about it, quite sadistically seductive. (Even at twelve years old)

I saw my usual entrance place for breaking in and stopped.  
The muddy pathway seemed gloomier at this with the dim lamp light cascading through parts of the leaves and falling to the floor therefore making every other part darker. But I tried my best to ignore it; walking past the over-grown vines and shrubbery hitting them away from me with every new step.

The dry mud let out little clouds of dust as my feet disturbed them and then suddenly I could feel droplets of rain hammering down upon my skin and I looked up to see the dark night sky full of rain drops that plummeted down onto me.

But there was nothing I could do and so I forgot about it and ran to the nearest place that was covered from the rain.

I found myself stood under the petruding roof of the estate.

The rain drops fell from the roof and splashed before me feet as I took a dignified sigh feeling somewhat weirdly safer out of the heavy rain.  
I took a few deep breaths and slowly my nerves calmed themselves from my sudden sprint for shelter, well they'd calmed until I heard the movement of a foot to the left of me.

My breath flew inwards sharply and my body stiffened up in shock.  
Someone was watching me, I blinked and my arm gave a spasm in fear.  
As if someone was only centimetres away their eyes piercing my skin, I resisted the urge to turn around and pull a kunai out on whoever it was being that it seemed the persons chakra levels were much higher than my own.  
I knew there wasn't any way that I could tell; I had no way of making myself sure of this supposed chakra levels but… I guess I was just feeling the sort of presence.

But I stopped what if I was him?  
What if Sasuke was there? His chakra was stronger than mine and who else would come to his home?  
It must've been him, there was no other person that I'd expect there other than him.

I began to turn as if in slow motion, yet I felt it there again like a breathing feeling fanning my neck with warmth.

I stopped; turned away from my original position the breath was coarse ad felt so near to me.  
But I couldn't smell him, his usual inky sort of smell.

I tried my best to cling to whatever I could, a smell, a voice but there was nothing.  
Hardly a feeling of warmth.  
And then, whatever it was, was gone.  
Just like that.

---------------

The rain that had fallen for years since his departure had now made the shoji screens all over the house moist and slightly rot through the wood.  
The estate was now old and fragile.  
I leaned back upon a screen and heard it creak with my weight, I could feel the moisture through my shirt cling to the screen behind me and I turned then pushed the screen open to reveal a familiar room, the Uchiha kitchen.

It now smelt like damp but the look of the kitchen itself, even with smashed tiles scattered across the floor it held this stop from life, like it was so full and happy with such a sudden defeat it didn't know what to do.

I walked through to the hall way hiding my chakra slightly in case anyone was there that I hadn't realised.

I was sure that the last thing I wanted was for some unrecognised shinobi to pull a kunai to my throat while I was unprepared.

The walls in the hall way gave of a horrible smell but I tried my best to focus on my target, the flickering light that resided a few doors down from where I was and weirdly enough even from my point I could feel a different kind of warmth radiating from outward the room.  
Like an inhabitancy within.  
It was a stupid though, I knew that but what else could I have thought.

I approached the room and I heard a shuffle of feet making my body stop and it almost felt as if my blood had run cold.  
A man with a deep raspy voice spoke in a hushed voice, this signalling another person in the room he must've been talking to.  
More shuffling of feet were heard, heavy footsteps either implying the man was carrying a heavy item or he was of great weight, if not both.  
Hastily I used a technique that had soon become very useful in Konaha where you hide your identity and breathing patterns making you as if invisible.

I listened again wishing to hear the conversation as detailed as I could yet all that could be heard was the one speaker.  
I could even see a second shadow in the room from the light yet he seemed not to speak.  
My hand placed on the screen and I covered it in my chakra moving it the slightest centimetre in an attempt to see inside.

This was a wrong move.  
The room filled with darkness and the hushed speaking had stopped completely now letting both darkness and in depth silence fill out the house.  
Everything around me was no still and stiff.  
I wondered whether to scream, to run or to stay completely still.

I had no idea where the two people had been, their chakras were untraceable as I hoped mine was.  
But as a hand slinked to my hip and I could hear breathing in my left ear I realised that was definitely a skill I would need to improve.  
Obviously taking into account I had to live through this first to even begin thinking about improvement.

For what seemed a life-time a warm breath made my body tingle and I tried my best not to show the fear that was accumulating inside of me.  
But I guess it didn't work as I felt a long sigh break over my skin.  
"I've had enough, I'll see you soon" A deep and attractive voice spoke.  
My eyes blinked and I turned to see the face of the speaker but he was gone.  
Without a trace and it seemed his partner had left the premises also.

It was weird, I'd really never expected the people inside to be like that, but I was sure of one thing.  
That, most definitely, was not Sasuke.  
Or at least it wasn't something he'd do, ever.

I made my way further into the room with the light, I was still worried about the two people even though the light had gone out it was sti9ll dangerous to let them know I was still poking around inside the house.  
I moulded my chakra so that it was as invisible as possible and I silenced the steps on my feet.

I walked slowly toward what I could recall was the table; I had to be very careful.  
If I suddenly tripped over something and feel flat on my face I would've looked totally stupid and been unsuccessful in trying to be silent.  
But I reached the table and scanned for chakra levels, they were distant now and I could feel them moving quickly away from Konaha.  
I relaxed and as I searched for the oil lamp it scolded me and I dropped it screaming loudly then I realised I'd been glad they'd left before hearing me cry out like a three-year-old.  
My now scolded hand picked it up again and placed it open the table before finding a match and lighting it.  
Healing my scolded fingers I sighed.

His house felt intruded on now, I knew that I'd come here many times and I probably was only doing the same but I guess it felt different when I wasn't the only one un-expectedly visiting.  
In my heart I knew I wanted to chase after the two dark figures that I'd recently encountered, but how was I to explain myself if I caught them.  
Being in the Uchiha estate was breaking and entering whether it was to catch criminals or not.

I sat beside the lamp and let it slowly and carefully heat the room.  
My surroundings were battered and there was a noticeable slit in the screen of the door but weirdly I felt more at home in this room than I did in my own home.

I guess the feel of Sasuke once living here made me feel calm.  
But I doubted it, it was more likely that here I was away from everything else in the world and it was great.  
But really, I should get back.  
Decisions needed to be made.

---------------

The sky had quickly filled itself with sparkling stars and I could see them in all their glory as I looked out of the kitchen window again.  
I sat at the table with my hands scrunching my hair in the front.  
I was distressed knowing I wouldn't get any sleep.  
It was pretty impossible now, I'd been disturbed at Sasuke's and so now I guess there was only the preparation to leave.  
I stared at the scroll that lay slightly open in front of me on the table.  
There was nothing that I could be told that would stop my mind from wandering on to the thought of him here again, it seemed more impossible than physically imaginable.

I closed my eyes and took a deep breathy sigh before standing up away from my chair and wrapping the scroll tightly in its ribbon.  
The way to my bedroom seemed to slowly drag and I jogged the stairs trying to forget about what I was going to do.

My room felt empty, like when you come back from a mission and everything seems a bit... stale?  
You need to start living in it a while for it to get used to you again, that sort of feeling?  
Well that's how it felt.  
Stale and horrible.

I walked toward the chest of drawers and dressed in ANBU medics outfit that I'd been given once Tsunade had stretched funds for medic outfits. It looked like any other ANBU outfit expect it was lighter in case it needed to be removed to stop bleeding or for other uses.  
So I was able to war loose fitting close on top.  
I pulled it on slowly and as I carefully pulled back on my kimono from earlier I tried to ignore the tears that once brimmed now fell down my cheeks.  
I told myself I didn't know why I was crying. Inside I knew more than anything, it was clear as day.  
The hardest part of this is leaving you.  
I looked across at the sake cup from the night before and picked it up stroking the cold porcelain.  
"I'll miss you Naruto-kun"  
I said aloud placing it back upon the bedside locker.

Once pulling everything needed together I went into the bathroom and splashed my face with some water from the sink.  
I felt emotional drained after my quiet outburst earlier and I felt in need of something just to wake me.  
Unfortunately I knew that I'd need to just take it slow to make myself feel better and as I head out of the bathroom I looked back upon my room before hitting the light.

Walking down the stairs I tried to forget how much I hated leaving behind a sanctuary.  
My home, a sanctuary; It sounded stupid but that's the only way I could really explain it.  
A place you look for when you're in need but really once inside you realise you'd rather be out. Yet when you are out you miss it.

I was out now though and the winds of the night made me shiver as expected.  
The open was always worrying, there was no way to save myself now, and I'd be on my own.  
I had to face it and as I took my first steps away from my home I felt like slowly I was detaching myself from Konaha as my home village.

---------------

I stared up at Konaha's main gates in awe. The gates were beyond massive and I found them quite intimidating to be near, if I were to be a missing Nin I'd definitely stay as far away from those gates as possible.  
But my mind chuckled, if I were a missing Nin that got scared of big gates I wouldn't last five minute in or out of them.  
Stupidly I wished I'd gone back and left Naruto a note.  
He seemed pretty certain that he was making an informal goodbye to me but I felt as if I needed to actually tell him I was going.  
Like a way of letting him now without walking straight up to him and telling him that I'd be leaving now.

It was horrible to think I was leaving him alone like Sasuke had but I guess that there was no other way.

My hand dove into my pocket and I pulled out the scroll from earlier and walked over to the sort of patrol looking office were shinobi took details on everyone that left or entered Konaha.  
I knocked quietly on the glass and I had a coarse coughing before the glass slide to the left and a stream of cigarette smoke came flooding out of the newly opened crevice.  
It was to my surprise that as the smoke finally cleared the spiky hair that belonged to Shikamaru stuck his head out of the opening.  
He almost seemed as surprised as I was upon realising who each of us was.  
I nervously grinned though. "Shikamaru? Wha-what are you doing here?" I asked, confusing entering my voice.  
Shikamaru gave a grant before sighing heavily and rolling his eyes. "The usual patrol ninja are out on special request to patrol around the Uchiha estate, apparently some missing nin were heard moving about there earlier" His voice was uncaring but it still hit through me like a bad chord.

Those two ninja I encountered earlier were… missing ninja?  
Criminals grabbed.. Me!  
I felt weirdly violated knowing I should have tried to stop them and didn't.  
I guess I looked dazed as Shikamaru raised his eyebrow at me. "Sakura?" He asked.  
I shook my head. "That sounds terrible" I said scanning my brain to find something else to strike up a conversation about but before I could say anything Shikamaru began speaking.

"So you've come here for a reason I suppose? Not just a visit to the patrol ninja?" He asked a slight smirk tugging at the sides of his mouth.  
I forced myself to smile and clenched my scroll before handing it to him.  
I hated knowing that he'd have to read it, if the patrol ninja were around they'd not know who Sasuke or I were and not care so much about it but Shikamaru would hold feelings of his own about the mission.  
I guess though I could do nothing about it now.  
If I didn't leave now then it would be put off and I'd have to tell Naruto and Ino and everyone else what I planned to do.

But, luckily, Shikamaru nodded and pulled a pen from the desk near him and hastily signed the paper.  
I watched the ink swirls that were flowing out the pen and then he took a deep inward sigh.  
His head fell slightly. "Go careful Sakura" He said in a hushed tone. Shikamaru was never the one to seem too bothered about other people well being but I guess he didn't want to lose friends as much as anyone else did.

I nodded abruptly and he tightly gripped his pen before rolling my scroll back up and bringing his head up while handing it to me.  
Really, I think I wanted to lean forward and hug Shikamaru skinny form but how could I ever explain my actions.  
As a ninja I wasn't to be scared of death and really I shouldn't need to hold on to my friends.  
They should know I did doing what a ninja should but I couldn't say Goodbye to anyone now and it seemed so easy just to hug Shikamaru and never look back.

But I just took the scroll he handed to me and I walked towards the gates that usually the patrol ninja would open but nothing happened.  
I stood for a few moments wondering whether something would happen yet when it didn't I looked to the office Shikamaru had been at and couldn't see him it.  
It was only until I heard the running of footsteps coming toward me was when I knew I couldn't hold back.  
Shikamaru stood centimetres away from me gaining his breath slightly before standing straight but now for long as I balled him over hugging him suddenly.

His usual blankish expression flooded with confusion but I think he realised as anyone else would if he was the last person I'd see I'd wanna make the most of it.  
I felt him hastily pat my hair down and I coughed slightly and released him from my grasp.  
Awkwardly I didn't look up at him and he nervously coughed.  
"Sakura, I'll tell Naruto you'll see him soon okay?" He said suddenly obviously knowing I hadn't said goodbye.  
I gave a small nod and he gave a grunt of approval before he began to push on one of the gates.

Seeing him struggle I began helping him and soon one of the gates was enough for me to slide through and I was out then.  
Looking back through the gap into my village Shikamaru stood there for a few moments.  
"Goodbye Sakura-chan" He said softly.  
I smiled slightly. "Goodbye Shikamaru-kun".

He'd never called me that, I'd never called him that either.  
But weirdly I was glad I got to show him how much of a friend he was to me.  
Shikamaru was always there if you needed him and now he really knew how thankful I was, I was independent now and I'd said goodbye to him as a last resort to a close friend.

---------------

Walking away from Konaha was beginning to prove more and more difficult.  
The wind was cold and I longed to be back inside the large gates that kept everything so simple.  
I was out now and the open and stillness seemed to bore through and get onto my easily agitated nerves.  
The slightest movement and I was on my guard scared of what I'd do if I encountered anyone at any point.

I climbed a tree and overlooked my directions, there was no easy way to get to sound and so I thought I'd carry on in any direction while figuring a careful way to go.  
The trees rustled and I became restless as I began to jump from one branch to the next.

I was glad Konaha's forest was outside the village it was so much faster to travel through forest rather than on foot.  
Although being on foot gave a battle advantage so that your opponent had nowhere to hide being in a forest was just much quicker.  
Forestry was always more calming, it gave of a peacefulness about it and I guess it calmed me really.  
I could slightly see the light began to break through and I guessed that it was nearing 4am.

My feet told me to stop knowing that really it was best for me to rest slightly before going the initial push to the sound village yet my head told me the quicker I got there the quicker I could be back and so I kept going for the longest I could.

Trees whipped past me in mere flashes of green and the wind grew harsh as it whipped at my exposed skin.  
I tried to fight it but slowly I knew that it would grind my nerves and I'd need to stop but for now I'd let it be.  
I'd grown used to the cold of the nearing October months so I could get used to this as well.

I could see opening in the distance in front of my and I could tell that I was nearing the village hidden in the waterfall, I'd done a few unimportant missions around here gathering information of the bloodline limits and powerful families around the area and I decided once getting there I'd rest for a while to at least getting my body a little rested before carrying on to sound.

The trees had grown less now and I seemed to be going for a while between each jump and eventually I had to land.  
If I would have tried to make it to any other tree I was pretty sure I'd fall flat on my face.  
Landing was tricky as my legs felt suddenly unstable from their sprinting through the vast forestry and I stumbled slightly with my first few steps.  
I leaned against a large rock cluster that was to the left of me as I tried to steady myself.

Hating the fact that I couldn't push myself further and reach the sound by at least 7am I walked into a few trees and found a little path of grass where I couldn't help but just collapse and take a few deep breaths.  
My chest heaved with agony from where I'd breathing sharply and I let it generally calm itself and change itself back into a normal breathing pattern.  
After a little while the blood stopped pulsating through my legs and I was able to sit it up and prop myself against a tree as I looked through my bag for some water.

Once finding it I took a long swig and let the cool liquid flow down my throat and ease it's dry before-state.

I smiled as my mind seemed to ease and I took a few varied breaths that generally calmed me.  
Hating the fact that I couldn't stay here forever and let myself rest up fully I managed to get myself standing straight.  
My legs started to wobble less and less and I eventually (after countless strolls up and past the many trees) steadied them, regaining my composure I picked up my bag.

It was heavier than I remembered but I guess there was no need for me to take any notice of it.  
I just carried on walking, I realised with the feel of moist now entering the air and falling gracefully down onto my skin that I must have been leaving waterfall.  
Sound had that horrible moistness to it, the village itself made you feel damp and disgusted; like you needed to wash.  
It must've been close and so I tightened my kimono and holster straps readying myself for guards of the village.  
I had permission to leave Konaha but no permission to enter Sound.

My pace fastened and I figured it out that I could arrive at Sound roughly around 4pm if I didn't hesitate.  
I pretty much knew my way to Sound from here therefore I'd have no reason to stop to ask directions and such.  
Not that anyone I'd come across here would have the common decency to tell me the right way.  
But I meant it as matter of fact.

---------------

**Uchiha Itachi**

She seemed totally idiotic; prancing around with no regard of any other person.  
Her chakra wasn't hidden, she was dashing at an audible pace and I could tell her weak points from barely looking at her.  
I cursed myself, why was it that no village knew how to train their own Ninja these days.

Following her had been simple; she was self involved and wasn't expecting other Ninja in the premises so I could follow her easily without being spotted.  
Well to be honest, for me it was no problem at all but then again even Kisame; whose mass sometimes caused him problems with stealth wasn't noticed.  
She was completely oblivious; though I didn't find it quite amusing all the same.

I hadn't seen her headband and this ground my nerves, she looked familiar and Kisame and I had been tracking her for quite a while.  
There'd been no direct instructions or details on the subject at hand and so we'd just been hoping it was the right girl.  
After all it would be a totally waste of time if we'd been following the wrong person around for days.

She did seem the right person; she'd been at the estate though really you didn't expect anyone to be in the estate.

Kisame coughed and I looked around suddenly.  
He was such an invalid at time, I scowled but he just flashed a toothy grin my way.  
"Check the premises" I said, my tone cold and harsh.  
Kisame grunted and pushed off from the tree to do as I had said.  
I was glad of him leaving to be fair, without sounding rude; partner or not he was still extra baggage that I had to look out for.

Once he'd left she seemed to stop we'd been nearing our way to Sound and she didn't seem the type to stop every five minutes in need of rest.  
She'd only stopped once which was surprising for a girl of her type.  
She was petite, tiny almost.  
Her arms and legs were thin and she seemed quite fragile.

The exact girl _he _could fall in love with.

---------------

**Haruno Sakura**

I had to stop, I could feel it; a large amount of flowing chakra running.  
Granted it was away from me but I had to be ready if they were to attack. I made out that I needed to catch my breath and made myself practically collapse upon the floor in a heap gasping for air.  
The chakra source didn't seem affected and so (still pretending) I began to sit up and looked around for both any sign of the person with the chakra and to see how far I was from Sasuke.

Slowly I stood faking to steady myself against a large tree trunk but still the chakra was un-affected.  
The wind flew past me and my hair flipped back suddenly.  
I could feel another now, another chakra completely undisguised.  
My heart began to race, it wasn't far from me and it seemed unnaturally large.

Looming in on me I had no idea of what to do, I was always better when an opponent was upfront and let me know where they were.  
If this person wanted to play hiding games I had no chance at all.

Slowly I slinked my hand down into a kunai holster and readied a kunai for an attack, I wouldn't let my guard down for any reason.  
This opponent would be the first of many and I was in no place to pass up on the opportunity to show everyone what I'd gotten good at.

I heard movement in a tree nearby and a mysteriously smooth laugh could be heard.  
I didn't like how someone had begun to mock me and I pounced up into a tree away from the person.  
This didn't matter much though as the person (know identifiable as a man) landed where I'd just been standing and shook his head.

He walked forward slightly and a twig or two snapped beneath his feet.  
How unprofessional, not only has he let me in on his exact location but now he's confirmed it by being to obliviously obvious and standing on twigs.  
If I was up against an opponent this lazy why should I even try with him, he was obviously not worth my time.

He walked forward taking his steps slowly as he began to hide his chakra levels; he did this well but still that was no reason to estimate much from him. Chakra hiding was one of the first skills we'd been taught at the academy; there was no reason for him to be showing of if I'd already seen him.  
I watched as hi chakra levels decreased and then... as he turned invisible.  
I was shocked now, there was no explanation for visibility that I'd learned and I was sure if Tsunade knew about invisibility she would've told me.  
Why did I know nothing about it?

Suddenly he re-appeared standing on the opposite tree from her, directly facing her.  
He laughed again and I grit my teeth inside my mouth.  
He was messing with me to see whether I'd expect it, I wasn't going to let him be so easy on me.  
I stood and readied myself to throw kunai and shatter his tree.  
But then quickly he threw a kunai my direction, it seemed to fly past me so quickly and it made it impossible to catch.  
So I just let it hit three, barely a centimetre from my face.  
The surprising thing was the force of it on to the tree, with any other person I'd seen throw a kunai it had been a good through but it had barely past the first initial part of the knife but no, this person had thrown with such force that the knife had gone into the tree past it's midway line.  
It was then that I realised this man wasn't to be messed with.

Suddenly I realised he looked somewhat familiar.  
I tried to identify him as best as I could; he wore a black cloak that fell to the floor covering his feet.  
It was very beautiful with red clouds patterned around near the bottom. From where I was standing I could just barely see the nose-high collar was open and he wore a black mesh shirt underneath.  
But other than that he'd been facing away from me, the only other identifiable part of him was his long black pony tail that swung from side to side when he made sudden movements.

His attire was quite admirable, something that I'd quite gladly wear if the ANBU medic team agreed; though I'm not really sure that black with red were true Konaha colours.

I watched him as he gracefully walked around, taking in the generally premises I believe.

A sudden chakra was felt and I whipped around to see where it was, but nothing was there.  
I shrugged trying to find it but once I couldn't track it I turned back to look at the other man he wasn't there.  
My eyes scanned the vicinity desperately trying to find him.  
He could strike for me at any moment and now I'd no idea where he was.

I pushed away from the tree landing on the grassy floor steadily.  
Checking again for the dark haired man I had no luck and clenched my fist in annoyance.

I stepped forward slowly trying not t make a sound with each new step but obviously I hadn't tried hard enough as I heard an audible crack beneath my right foot.  
Hastily I picked my foot up from the floor and carefully I looked underneath to see what it was.  
And I saw it the pieces of broken glass that had shattered beneath my weight.

Slowly I bent down to pick up the pieces that had smashed.  
I picked up the largest one first; it was the bottom part of the bottle.  
The little end part and the label was there, torn slightly and watered down.

It had the shape of a tear inked on the torn paper and in the bottom of the glass a few mere drops were left lingering there. From a distance she was able to smell the strong stench it gave off.  
It was very familiar and Tsunade had taught me many different poisons and their purposes.

Anything that they could do to harm a person, if not even kill a person or dare I say otherwise.  
There was nothing she wanted less than to come ill suddenly on her mission.  
There was only one available way I could check.  
I reached into the holster and felt three kunai remaining; pulling one out I made a small slice into my thumb drawing blood.

The small drops of blood stayed onto the kunai and I held both it and the bottle at a distance before tilting the knife into the bottle and waiting to see if it anything would happen.  
I was pretty sure what would happen but I needed to check just in case.

I watched as the once crystalline poison slowly faded into an ultra violet green colour and a slither of black smoke was produced that slinked up out of the broken bottle and lingered slightly before disappearing.  
The now ultra violet green colour began to boil and bubbles began to warm and pop within it.

"Clear water poison, changes at the blood types..." My mind scanned for the name but it was difficult.  
I then realised, the black smoke, most, if not all but few clear poisons either had no smoke or had a squeak to it.  
"Shimizu" I said holding the bottle at a distance still before dropping it to the floor and, as I had expected while falling the bottle turned into a water morph of itself and splashed on to the floor beneath me.  
Knowing that I'd already released the name of the poison I'd have to dispose of the kunai as well.

I tore of the pocket of my kimono from the inside and quickly wrapped the kunai as tight as I could before throwing it directly at a tree and watching as the water trickled down the tree trunk and into the grassy floor.

And then something glinted, catching my eyes as the water trickled over it making it shine out in the sunlight.  
I looked at it, tiny links were draped over the blades of grass, someone must have dropped it.  
I walked over and bent down, hooking the chain in my fingers bringing it up to view.

A necklace, it was somewhat familiar looking. It had one main chain that was split up by a few metals pieces.  
The metal pieces were the exact copies of the curse mark Sasuke had on the side of his neck.  
It was weird; I didn't understand why everything was so suddenly drawn to Sasuke.  
But I could do nothing until I was with Sasuke, I'd have to go fin him first.

I couldn't help but take a large sigh and jump back up inside of a nearby tree.  
It was worrying that I had no idea where the suspicious cloaked man had gone, if he had gone that is.  
I'd tried to trace his chakra but either he was hiding as well as before or he'd gotten himself for enough away that I couldn't trace him any more.

I laughed it off though as I began to push of further trying to get toward Sound and trying my best to forget about the recent conference with the man who seemed to have now disappeared from all site.  
I looked down at my hand playing with the links of the necklace someone had left behind.  
I knew it was stealing but it felt important to me and I placed it around my neck and traced it around the front of my neck.

I began pouncing off in a new direction.  
"I'll be there soon, I promise"

* * *

A/N- Ohh err giggles  
So Chatper four is done and i'm working on five and six.  
Reviews would be VERY apprieciated  
THAANKYOUU xxxxx

RYOUKOx


	4. Pure Uchiha Blood

**PHILOSOPHIES FOR THEIR HATRED**

**Wait for me Re-write by RYOUKOx**

"**First and foremost and ItachiXSakura fic, Kay [;?" **

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Naruto, but I'll take my chances with Itachi.

_**Italics-**__FLASHBACKS_

**Chapter four.  
Pure Uchiha Blood.**

**Uchiha Itachi.**

The kunoichi herself had easily drawn attention to herself.  
How could a head of pink hair ever be suitable for being a ninja, people would easily identify her therefore making her an easy target if anyone needed one.  
Honestly, she would easily get a reputation from her weak skills as a shinobi but with the pink hair it effortlessly made her pathetic and recognisable.

Though I did have to give it to her about her ability to distinguish the Shimizu poison differently from the other clear water poisons.  
She must have had an adequate knowledge of poisons or at least tat was what she'd portrayed to me.  
If she didn't she would've been very fortunately lucky.  
I, myself knew ample wisdom on the types of medicine used by general shinobi but the Shimizu poison was one of many that was quite advanced for a Shinobi to learn.  
For that she gained a small amount of praise from me.

It had come as almost a surprise to me that she knew about medicine at least, but then again she seemed pretty useless at hiding her chakra and the simple basis rules that she should have known as a kunoichi.  
By her age I guessed that she would have tried for jounin and not made it.  
She was most obviously a medic ninja by the looks of her held apparatus and her sharp senses.

Yet, she still didn't have the ability to properly defend herself being that she would have much rather hid from me in a tree (of all places) rather than even search for me. I did pity her; mainly because anyone who didn't must have been a fool.

I closed my eyes then, I'd left for two different reasons. The first being that this girl, as entertaining as she was to watch wasn't able to put up a good fight with me therefore I wouldn't mercilessly kill her knowing she was no match for me. (I did have some morals)  
But the second was that the water clone I'd been sending to Konaha had run into trouble, some insignificant opponents were challenging the clone not far from the Village hidden in the Waterfall and so I had decided to make my way there.

It wouldn't take long being that to follow this girl I'd only gone slightly out of my way, I'd simply turned around and tracked my clone with it's every movement. They must have underestimated the clone's power; it was almost a complete copy of myself if not for some tiny details that were barely noticeable.

Kisame and I had stepped up our mark while training and had improved our water clones so that they were barely different from the originals and so by the time I had arrived at the scene there was nothing for me to finish off.  
The three (obviously lesser) men lay on the blood stained grass beneath them grunting and groaning in deep agony.  
I barely laughed inwardly and turned my gaze toward my clone.  
It was very challenging to look at the clone, I never liked to look into the eyes of myself and now what I had become.  
I was without regret but with every look I could tell that I was slowly getting older.

I tilted my head a little looking at the clones face, it had a deep cut on the right cheek and the bone was visible.  
That is what I'd meant by they were still not exactly like they're originals.  
The men were growing quieter and I looked at them with a smirk fighting it's way onto my face.

"Goodnight" I whispered and as they all looked up into the spinning wheels of my eyes all that could be heard throughout the vast forestry where the dying screams of three unworthy men.

---------------

Travelling through the forest where I'd just killed three men was nothing new to me and I merely focused upon getting to Konaha before night began to rise.  
My pace fastened and I found my surrounding now blurring around me as the speed seemed to fly through me.  
The only audible noise being the wind rushing past my face and the whipping sound my cloak made with every new jump.

I guess I hadn't really noticed how fast I'd been going as Konaha's main gates came into view in the distance.  
And at that moment I couldn't help but let memories of my last day here flood throughout my mind.

It was a horrible feeling of lingering as every new step I took beckoned memories that I'd forbidden my mind to remember.  
Yet it made me hate myself for leaving.  
As much as Konaha made my feel sickly I kind of missed its innocence.

When I would walk around Konaha on my own I was an innocent child who always obeyed the wishes of my family and upon leaving everyone that I met would know who I was and what I'd done.  
It was an easy life back when I was with my family in Konaha upon leaving it had changed me so much as a person.

But never in a good way, I found that now if someone knew who I was then I'd love it to see the fear that flew through their eyes and yet if they didn't know who I was then they amused me for the ignorance and I killed them for it.  
I knew that it was disgusting throughout the moments that their last moments were staring into my eyes but my mind had succumbed to it's sadistic thoughts over the years and I'd grown to like them more and more.

Although most people would have found them crude and (as the already were) want to lock me up for it they wouldn't understand them like I could. No-one understood the mind of a person such as I unless they'd been through or done something considerably similar.

I'd found that I was somewhat accepted at Akatsuki and that is the only thing that made me stay, as everyone already expected of me it was quite obvious that I'd stopped myself from feeling emotion but the willingness to belong wasn't an emotion it was a perk. Therefore I saw no point in leaving and I now wished to overcome my other Akatsuki members and show myself as the most powerful.

Kisame had been in pursuit of me but I knew that he wouldn't risk entering Konaha alone or with me.  
He knew that Konaha would do as any other village would and stare at his blue shaded skin differently than I or other Akatsuki members.

The gates were now looming closer and closer and I'd decreased my pace not knowing whether I wanted to re-enter the village at all.

His family's happiness had been contained inside these walls and now he was stepping back into them he found himself hesitant.  
It was weird for him to feel an emotion such as this being that usually to feel nothing was very easy and now it was like something was pushing against him the closer he came to the gates.

I was a very intelligent ninja and I knew that I'd be recognised even now in Konaha and so I decided to take on the appearance of one of the three troublesome men that had come into contact with my clone earlier.  
I choose the lesser suspicious of the three men and took several moment hiding the real shade of my now infamous eyes.

Any good shinobi knew that their prominent features could still stand out even when morphing to look like another person.

This again relates to my earlier made point that the kunoichi we'd been spying on was unfit to be a ninja being that if she need to quickly perform an intense transformation her bright green eyes and distinctive pink hair would easily set her apart from the rest.  
Idiotic.

I made my way further towards the Konaha gates and quickly made a loud knock upon the gates.  
I'd expected to be questioned then and there and as I heard footsteps wandering forward to let me in I prepared an explanation for not having permission to enter the village.  
But as one side of the gates slowly opened and I saw the familiar faces of shinobi who'd been training in the academy with me I knew I wouldn't have to worry.

Obviously the jounin that were appointed under Konaha's Hokage were slightly older than myself when they were training so I knew what they looked like and as he opened the door further I forced a smile onto my face and he welcomed me in before wishing that I had a nice day.  
Yet again; idiotic. The people of Konaha thought that they were so protected in their little village and yet they didn't even have a good security system.

I looked down at my clothes and inwardly wanted to shudder.  
Okay, I wasn't the sort of man that had ever worried about the clothes I wore but I usually stuck to dark colours.  
I'd always worn dark shades even in ANBU the creamy white colour was the only contrast I'd accept and now to be accepted into Konaha as normal folk I'd been downgraded to wear a pair of short trousers that were muddy brown with bright green bottoms and a yellow tank top.  
I seriously felt like the most unworthy man alive.

It was a disgusting feeling.

I really tried to forget it though as I walked onward through the familiar streets of home.  
Home was an unfamiliar phrase with me, because the Akatsuki headquarters wasn't really a dwelling that was able for people to live in. Most of the time we spent our time in a house we'd bought far away from the headquarters between Kisame, Sasori, Deidara and I. Zetsu had given some many to stay on some occasions and if Hidan or Kakuzu stayed they would pay a night but obviously this was something that especially Kakuzu wasn't pleased with.

But could they expect anything less, being that the both of them hadn't given any money toward the house itself they would have to pay.  
If they didn't then we'd only be taken for fools and that I most certainly wasn't in a place to agree with.

I blinked then as something cold and wet hit my cheek.  
I looked up and then realised my ignorance and watched as the rain drops began to fall staining the paved floor with dark little dots of water.  
That was one of my favourite parts of nature it's ability to show beauty on the ugliest of things.  
I followed the path that I knew led to the Uchiha estate and looked up as a memorable fan came into the unsuspecting view of my disguised red eyes.

I seemed to walk quicker as I hadn't seen the gates that I'd left in the daylight for such a long time.  
The setting seemed perfect as I placed my hand on the painted fan of the wooden gates and the paint flaked off as the rain hammered down upon me and everything that surrounded me.  
At that moment in time I felt so picture perfect.

But I wouldn't let myself get lulled into the fake dreams of my past days here.  
Emotionless was the only way to look into my past with no feeling of regret and just hatred for another.  
This hatred channelled into one perfected way of killing only.

I found it more than truly efficient for the job.

-----------------------

I walked back towards the main street of Konaha not wanting myself to stray into my old home and I found myself looking upon the commonly found market sort of shops that Konaha always had to offer.  
They seemed almost untouched from the last time I'd seen them if not for torn banners and aged wood.

While walking past them I glanced as happy young children pulled their mothers along to different stands while the women hadn't paid for their items.  
Old men and women sat at tables talking, playing cards or chess and shop owners mulled around waiting for someone to take interest in their stand.

As I'd mentioned before, the village of innocence. There were no underlying tones between people other than harmless gossip that streamed through eagerly bored women.

Looking around I spotted a familiar, real shop that I'd seemed to have remembered.  
Although many of the stalls were the same this was an original shop that most positively would have been around when I was an infant.  
The unprofessional paint job and the worn shine on the door knob that was barely visible even as I grew closer to it.  
My hand closed in around the bronze doorknob and I turned while pushing it to see that it wasn't in fact as stiff as I'd thought.  
I fell forward crumbling to the floor causing the many people in the shop to look up.  
Subtle coughs could be heard and when I glanced up at the people I realised that this was a book shop, although I'd always remembered it empty it was now somewhat full with people buying various books.

"Do you need a hand?" A coarse but friendly voice spoke and a hand was offered in my direction. Vaguely recalling that I didn't look like myself at present time I acted into being the nice citizen that everyone in Konaha was.

Yet this came with difficulties, being that everyone was so sickingly polite here it meant that everybody knew everything about everyone.  
I'd have to lie to keep my reputation as a visitor to 'such a wonderful' village.

I forced a smile that disgusted my core and let the oldish gentleman help me up. Upon doing this he bent forward and rubbed his back roughly.  
I tried not to stare at him being that he may think that somewhat out of the ordinary but he chuckled under his breath and although every potential book buyer in the shop seemed utterly peeved I look toward him and he sighed.  
"They all think this shop is for them only" He said closing his eyes and shaking his head. I wasn't going to answer but instead look for the shop keeper to see if he could help me with what I'd been assigned to do.

"I've been the owner of this shop since the elite shinobi were children!" He exclaimed throwing both hands into the air and almost shouting his statement, the many readers looked up from their books and "Ssh'd" the old shop keeper.

Inwardly I wished to laugh knowing that the old shop keeper would be cursing that the people of today had no respect. Although it was true I'd never comment it, I wasn't the type of person to comment on such a thing.  
This man had also annoyed me slightly, it was fact that I'd come to Konaha for a reason and I was not about to start up conversations with people who I'd ordinarily have nothing to do with.  
I watched as the angered shop keeper mumbled to himself while he walked away slowly.

I looked around at the people who'd entertained themselves with the large variety of books in the shop, I laughed knowing that if you were wanting to read a book you went to the library whereas here you were supposed to buy the book. Obviously these people hadn't exactly caught the concept.

Generally I looked at the books scanning through the different genres closest to me. It was nothing out of the ordinary for a book shop; Ninja skills, Children's books, Teens, Short stories, life after death- that sort of thing. I chuckled aloud though as I looked to the left and saw a handful of men aged over 35 at least awkwardly standing at the section which had a banner above reading "Mature literature".  
It had quite surprised me that this shop would keep such a section but it was obvious that it brought on the money needed.

I walked around the large cases of books and glanced over the few shelves before I found myself nearing the counter. I must've made a noise suddenly and I saw a small man pop up from underneath the counter, he startled me obviously and I was taken aback as he raised a bushy white eyebrow at me.  
How rude?! I thought as I pretended that I hadn't seen him do it.

I tried my best to keep myself from hating the old man and walked forward to the small wooden desk that sat in a small corner of the room with an open door behind it leading into another room of books.  
Inwardly I tried my best to stop from staring into the room and asking what was in there but as I glanced up at it for a mere second an old hand reached for he doorknob shutting it slightly. "Can I help you sir?" the kneeing old man had said.  
I hated the secrecy that he surrounded himself with and was very tempted to vault myself over there kicking the door open and examining some of the various books.  
I didn't but I contemplated it for a little whole before I quickly shook my head to find the mans glare of confusion focused on me.  
A sigh overcame me and I rubbed my hand open my head.

I knew I'd have to talk now and I dreaded the seconds that lead to it wishing that they'd either disappear and let me speak or make me wait long enough that I didn't have to speak at all! Yet this wasn't the case and my mouth opened and words came out. "I-I'm new around here" I said finding that the voice of my inhabitancy was a very deep tone. "It's important that I find this person, he .." My mind became stuck and I scrambled around in my brain for an excuse. "He has something that belongs to me.." I felt maybe he was going to ask what it was and so, being prepared I readied a fake answer.  
Yet the shop keeper just stared at me for a few moments before giving a light nod but not letting his eyes leave my face.  
As un-easy as this made me I found myself shrugging this off and letting this old man have his way.

He turned and went into the room I'd been interested in.  
"We have a file of everyone who has been born, died, entered and left in the village due to the patrol nin and medic teams" He said, his voice muffled from searching in the room. "What was the name?" He asked as the searching seemed to be put on hold for me.

I bit my tongue before taking an inaudible breath.  
"He's an Uchiha" I began noticing the shopkeepers stop in movement.  
"Is he now?" He said breaking the intense pause. "First name?" He asked and I could feel the slight tinge of annoyance knowing he was wanting to pry into business that he knew he shouldn't be asking for.  
"Sasuke" I said without hesitation.

I couldn't see it then but I could tell that I weird smile had crossed the old mans features in an evil way that would have sickened even me. He brought out to the desk a file that even I found impressive for him to manage.

He searched through names going through last names for R, S, T and then U. "Uboko, Ucira, Uchiho, Uchiha. Here we are". I watched and clenched my fist as he read out the names of my deceased relatives in order from oldest to youngest. He read Shisui's name and I could feel my knuckles turn an ugly shade of white. "Uchiha Itachi and Uchiha Sa- here we are Uchiha Sasuke, that's who you asked for?" I swear at that moment I could have killed the shopkeeper once he'd paused at my name.  
It was rude and disrespectful in my eyes to talk of someone you didn't know like that.  
With no care only hatred.  
I genuinely understood that what I had done to my family wasn't right but that gave people no reason to resent me after all these years.  
You'd think they'd learn to grow, eventually.

I snapped from my day dream and locked toward the man who stood before me his eyebrow raised again. "Yes, that's him. Is it possible to find to where he's living at the moment?" I wasn't expecting a straight answer, with any luck he was in Konaha if not near. I'd known that he'd been with Orochimaru for a couple of years but after Orochimaru had gone through with his container idea Sasuke would've been either killed or sent away.

With any luck Sasuke wasn't as ignorant as he'd perceived to be and would take the easy choice and stay close to him or at least in a safe village that wasn't difficult for me to find. More than anything though I just hoped that the shop keeper would know roughly his whereabouts.  
Otherwise there'd been no point in me even making my visit back home, I knew that as soon as I'd step out the shop there'd be no doubt that I'd have to visit my childhood home.  
In fact, I'd already decided upon it, as much as it pained me to re-visit so many disgusting memories I though I'd at least pay my respects to the family I'd murdered.

I watched the intently as I noticed a change in the shopkeepers facial expressions. His wrinkled old face turned a sinister shade as a disgusting smirk crept across his pasty, thin lips. Noticing his finger trace across Sasuke's details I noticed he'd began to mumble them aloud, such things as his age, his date of birth, appearance, immediate family members and finally his last spotting/ whereabouts.

"Sasuke Uchiha was it?" The old man suddenly repeated not letting the grin disappear from his lips. I gave a nod but he hadn't looked up and I mumbled a "yes" under my breath.  
The old mans wrinkled hands closed the book and turned away from me. "He hasn't been admitted back into Konaha for years on end, but you're in luck" the man gave subtle cough in order to show me his disgust in me. Unfortunately for him I had no care for his opinion of me. "He was spotted mere weeks ago by patrol ninja at the stone.." I gave a nod of my head but as I began to turn a tight grasp formed at the middle of my forearm.  
"Yes?" I said through gritted teeth.  
"Uchiha.. Sasuke" The man said suddenly sounding very serious. "He's .. He's dangerous sir" He said finishing his sentence and although reluctant let go of my arm.

I gave a nod in his direction and he picked up his large book totting back into the book laden room.

---------------

Stepping out of the shop was when I noticed how small and stuffy it had been. Although it was getting into the later months of they year and there was a noticeable change in heat around this time I still hadn't expect walking out from the no-doubt draughty shop I would've been so affected by the heat, or dare I say lack-of heat.  
Unconsciously my hand raised to my exposed neck to feel the almost icy skin.  
I wasn't used to exposing so much of my face, although this face wasn't upon looking my own I could still feel the chill of the wind through this mans rough features.  
Actually I'd decided while I began walking toward my home that I really did detest not having my over-sized black cloak on.  
Although it had been made to hide our identities as members of an evil organisation I did most obviously prefer it to what I'd been forced to wear at present time.

Sighing I glanced up from the dusty floor an realised I'd been walking quicker than I'd expected and was only mere yards away from my childhood home.  
It still looked the same from the outside; the large, almost six-foot-high fencing only seemed slightly worn with paint only chipping of here and there from age.  
On one part of the fencing a giraffiti'd fan had been sprayed but I shook my head expecting nothing less.

Slowly my feet took me closer and closer to the fence before I pounced upward and crouched upon it overlooking my home. I then changed my mind about how the estate would've held up. The shoji screen walls and doors were slowly shaking in the wind and the once luxurious grass that had grown a healthy green shade around the estate was now patchy and brown.

I landed swiftly and could smell the inward moisture that was around.  
It was weird but I did half expect to see Sasuke around here, just wanting me to play with him or asking me for some training that I'd never willingly give him.  
But I ignored my thoughts and began walking closer toward the nearest door. It was an uneasy feeling as I closed in though like I was being followed, loomed over almost.  
I knew it would only be my imagination but still, the though sickened me and I knew what I'd be expecting now when I eventually slid open the shoji door.  
Thoughts even ran cold in my mind as I could see a stained bloody handprint pressed into the door in an attempt to escape.

Slowly I placed my own hand upon it and the innocent blood flaked off slightly and stuck to my hand.  
Quickly I rubbed it against my momentarily owned body and ignored my emotions as I slid open the door and quickly bolted inside shutting the door behind me and pressing my forehead against the soft, rotted wood that held the shoji door together.

Trying my best I took deep breaths that seemed heavy inside my chest. Though all I wanted was to be out of the house again I couldn't help but check out everything I had left behind now.  
I knew really I did want too, as anyone would.  
Though it was hard trying to turn around and see the blood stained walls and floors.  
Let alone to take my first real breath and smell the disgusting aroma of innocent blood soaked into furniture over many years.  
I really couldn't prepare myself for it however much I tried and so I began to turn, I knew it was best to leave my eyes open and look upon the mess I'd left all those years before.

It was slowly coming back into vision and as much as I wanted to snap my eyes shut again I knew that this was really what I'd have to do eventually.  
I knew in my heart that it was impossible for me to be all I'd lived up to if I could not face the things that got me where I am today.  
The blood, the agony and the gratitude.

The walls as expected were, from around halfway point stained with splatters of quickly sliced into blood. The type of blood that shoots out as you plunge a katana into someone too quickly.

Unconsciously my hand neared the wall and touched the dark red stain. I could feel it beneath my fingertips, the bumps from where the moisture had loosened the soft material and I could've sworn my own blood curdled inside for me.

I looked about the premises; the room itself held as many bad memories as any other did. This one had been where I'd murdered my Aunt and Uncle and next to me would be the room where I'd killed their children.  
Inside this house, no-where was a safe haven for me.  
My feet dragged along the floor as I tried to find some air, memories flooding my head like as if they'd been made into a motion picture.  
The screaming and crying sounding like they had done on that day, in that hour, in those dreaded minutes.  
It seemed to over-come my own thoughts and drowning my mind out making me incapable to find air, in-capable to do anything at all.  
I collapsed down to the floor and could feel my muscles contracting and my whole body shaking.  
Shaking my head I barely noticed as my body flickered between that of what it was and of the deceased mans inhabited body.  
I shook my head continuously and everything became blurred and nauseating, I knew if I stopped it will still make me want to vomit and I tried closing my eyes but as I did I found my memories overcome my mind and my eyes wouldn't open.  
I knew I was the one closing them and I guessed I wanted to see everything happen again but not here, not now.

_"Itachi-kun please listen" My mothers muffled words meant nothing to me as I just glared past her emotions and into my Father's black pupils.  
He simply stared back at me ignorantly keeping his face straight as always.  
I don't think I'd ever seen a smile cross his sinister lips and I was glad.  
He could now see mine while he lived his last seconds of life.  
My mother's screams had been loud and disturbing and every time my eyes flinched to look at her I could see her face pain and shake as she tried with all her might to let someone know what was happening.  
I knew in my heart I wouldn't want to kill her but I think it was hurting her more to see my Father not even care about what I'd been doing.  
This angered me also and as the wind blew past my face I lowered it slightly and let the faint shafts of light cast upon my disgustingly sadistic smirk._

_"The world is a beautiful place Itachi-san, you will live it better than any other" I quoted my Father not daring to let my eyes wander to his expression. "That was a lie" I said letting a single tear fall from my dark eyes.  
Slowly I walked towards my Father in his kneeling state and drew my katana from it's holster.  
It was already stained from the murder of my other relatives and as I produced it and My Mother saw the dark red liquid her pained screams were only of deep depression for not having a family._

_My hand shook as I raised the katana to my Fathers neck, his face not changing an expression I stepped forward and let my single tear be known to him. "Emotionless is the way of a true ninja" I said letting my voice waver in hurt as I then clenched the katana and ignored my Mothers agonising scream for my father as I plunged the long blade through his neck and quickly removed it watching his expression change into shock and try to grasp at his bleeding neck.  
My Mother's face had fallen a paler white than I'd ever remembered and her eyes let tears fall without complaint as she watched my Father writhe in pain.  
I kicked his body to the floor and stood on his heaving chest at this point as he tried in desperate need to make anything he could audible. _

_Though I'd had enough of his behaviour and put my foot against his mouth then hurtling my katana once again into his chest rendering his vital organs useless and although he managed a few muffled screams soon he was lifeless in a pool of his own blood._

_Blood droplets fell from my katana and suddenly my Mother's vocal box had stop sounding screams as she just looked at the floor in-front of her. "Itachi-kun please let me understand" Her sad and soft voice said in barely a whisper.  
I said nothing and gently took a step away from my father's bleeding corpse.  
"I'm sorry I never understood you Itachi-kun, I'm so sorry" She repeated letting my hear her tears through her wavering voice.  
"I would've tried Itachi.. Let me help you" My Mother tried her very best to keep her life.  
I knew on the inside I wished if she had said those words in a day or two before this one then things may have been different but no, they'd never taken interest in my feelings before and now here I was a bloodied katana in hand having to finish what I'd started._

_"Ooka-san I want the necklace" I said slowly not letting my eyes wander her face.  
She let her head drop slightly and acknowledged my request with a slight nod.  
I neared her and let my free hand that was bloodied and quivering raise near her face and she looked up at me trying to glance at my face.  
Though inwardly I knew she'd already seen how much this had been pulling me apart._

_I let my katana hit the floor with a loud clatter and her head snapped up with shock and I knew she'd wondered if I'd finish this insane game I'd been playing but knowing the her hands were tied behind her back I walked behind her and knelt down.  
I guess she knew what I was doing but as I moved her hair away from the back of her neck she flinched and her muscles tensed under my fingertips.  
But really what was I to do ?_

_It was a weakness to live with something holding me to my past, I knew this but with my mother it was different than anyone else.  
Sasuke was a brother, a fine specimen for avenging me. That's why I let him live but everyone else but my Mother had never bothered to understand me any more than the ANBU hard exterior that I'd so easily learnt to use as a frontal figure._

_She quivered more as she felt a droplet of my Father's lukewarm blood drop from my finger and stain her white collar. I took a deep breath and wanted to tell her how sorry I was, I knew I couldn't and If I did I'd let all emotions flow out for her to see.  
I couldn't do that it wasn't right and so gently I just inhaled and exhaled letting warm tears just fall down my face._

_It was obvious that she'd realised I was crying when I let out a sniffle and she flinched in surprise.  
My hands quickened and un-hooked the little contraption that carefully held together the tiny silver chain that hung around my Mother's neck.  
It carefully dropped on one side and I held the other before lifting it away from her and holding the warmish metal in my dark red stained hand._

_I returned before my Mother's kneeling body and watched as in a desperate attempt she tired to keep her eyes away from her husband's mangled body that was staining the floor a deep shade of crimson.  
"I loved you so much Itachi" She said to me as her eyes stay closed and her head bowed to the floor.  
Tears fell to the floor in front of her and I did nothing but slowly raise my sword underneath her shin.  
She obliged and looked up at me her face trembling slightly._

_I stepped slowly into the light and now as I could hear the sounds of footsteps running around outside and loud shouts and scream being suddenly again audible from outside of the house I knew that I had to hurry the process.  
Although I knew this was the part that I was dreading I'd never felt so ..Powerful.  
The sleek blade of my katana glinted as it moved slightly under my Mother's chin.  
A smile crossed my lips of pure evil; she had nothing to do but wait for me to murder her._

_But as I readied myself to cut of my Mother's life I watched her eyes slowly close and her pale face turned and showed a natural and true smile. _

_I stopped in my tracks watching her but not letting the blade leave her chin, I wished for her to wind time back and tell me that I wasn't so alone. Because we both knew there was much more to this than what I could've explained to her right there.  
But everything then seemed so silent._

_"Itachi" a soft and quiet voice whispered. I blinked and never let my eyes leave my mother quivering figure. "Itachi you were always such a good son" She said letting a tear follow the creasing of her genuine smile.  
"Such a good boy Itachi" She repeated letting her bottom jaw shiver as she said my name._

_I could feel warm tears brimming in my eyes and as I tightened my grip on the katana I knew I'd give her my last words then.  
"Oka-san" I spoke softly not realising her sudden stop in shaking. "I love you Oka-san" I said slowly._

_The blade glinted softly and I couldn't take another moment, I thrust the sharp blade into my Mother's porcelain white coloured neck and heard the splatter of blood droplets hit the floor around us.  
Her voice box made disgusting sounds of wheezing lungs and the sounds of her choking on her own blood._

_She sounded so pathetic; effortless.  
And yet I felt no regret. I felt, empowered._

_She struggled wanting to scratch at her neck but I soon watched as her body slowly sank to the floor and joining her Father in making a pool of our own family blood.  
Pure Uchiha Blood._

_I stuck my hand into my pocket and felt the warmish metal on my fingers and slowly I pulled it out looking down onto the detailed locket.  
I pushed the hitch open and looked at the picture of my direct family inside of it.  
The day the picture had been taken my Father was out and the three of us had a photo instead.  
And now that I held it I was happy he'd never been there, I'd never want to remember him or anything he'd ever had to do with me._

_Slowly I raised the two sides of the necklace to my neck and attached them letting the light chain and locket lay upon my ANBU chest plate.  
I looked toward my Father's mangled corpse, "you never deserved anything more than what I delivered you" I said before placing my stained katana in my Father's rough hand._

_None of this would make sense to anyone but me. I was glad._

Slowly I let my a lone hand wander onto my chest to feel for the lukewarm metal. To my surprise though I felt nothing but my bare chest._  
_Looking down I couldn't see it and in a frantic panic I checked my pockets widely and even the blood stained floor around me.  
But it wasn't there, it was gone.

And as everything had, he'd now lost his only link to his past other than his family name. Was this what happened to people ?  
I wouldn't let it keep happening to me.  
I'd kill my brother and leave the world to kill itself.


	5. Derelict madness in the pits of Rock

**PHILOSOPHIES FOR THEIR HATRED**

**Wait for me Re-write by RYOUKOx**

"**First and foremost and ItachiXSakura fic, Kay [;?" **

**Disclaimer** I do not own Naruto, but I'll take my chances with Itachi.

**Italics-**_FLASHBACKS_

**Chapter Five.**

Derelict madness in the pits of Rock village

_**  
**_**Haruno Sakura.**

Looking for Sasuke had been draining, although I was determined to find him it still played havoc on my body like I was entirely defeated. There was only so far I'd be able to push myself from here on out and now it seemed that my vision was blurry from exhaustion and my legs would no longer push there way on. I thought it stupid to even think there was such a thing as my vision being somewhat faulty because of exhaustion yet I raised a heavy hand to my head in an attempt to wake myself. Unfortunately it didn't work and I sighed deeply looking out at my surroundings trying to focus.

Although blurred I could roughly make out a dark coat of shadow covering few trees and a lot of misguided rocks wearily placed. It was like a derelict wasteland around these parts and I wondered why on earth Sasuke would have wanted to come to the village of the rock to find shelter. Obviously I knew he had his important reasons and by all means they were more than valid but I knew I could have picked better established choices than, well, here.  
Not that I really had anything against rock but I'd never lived there other than maybe on an overnight trip while on various missions.  
The sky was a dark and disturbing grey colour and as my eyes had finally focused back to their semi-original state I could see that it was bound to pour down with rain any minute now.  
The air around me had a moist and worrying cold feel making me rub my arms in attempt to warm myself.

But yet again I found myself sighing heavily as I stared down at my pounding feet.  
"Why did he have to come all the way out here?" I asked myself aloud hating the fact that I hadn't taken anyone along with me for the journey to find him. There was no lie in saying I was lonely, it had only been a few long days and I was already missing any substantial conversation. Although I knew I was better of alone for the mission, I knew inside I wished I could've brought someone along with me; just for general company along the way because hell, I knew when I left it'd be terrible to travel alone but this was proving to be a lot harder to deal with.

I'd even been somewhat glad that I'd bumped into the strangely cloaked man only those mere days ago, although it had been definitely unexpected I did feel a touch at ease knowing that I was round another human being.  
Yes; I understood that he may have been cold blooded and for all I knew he could have killed me within a second but I guess knowing that he was living and breathing and for sure not suffering as much as I may have been made me feel sadistically better.

I did wish though, that maybe someone could just talk to me without threat and without bearing a whole ton of bad news.  
But I guess being without someone had really made me more determined, I knew that I wanted to find Sasuke more and more.  
It felt like he was only a walk away, like I could find him anywhere and hardly have to look.

Though I did know there was a huge chance I'd never find him I didn't want to look on the negative side, I knew I was exhausted beyond belief, my head was pounding wildly and I could feel my muscles aching beneath my tired skin.  
Ignorance seemed to work though, deep down I knew that I could collapse into a heap on the dusty floor but I found myself still standing and making my way further and further into the Village of rock.

Taking a deep breath was like a load off my shoulders and I stuck my hands into my pockets suddenly remembering the silver necklace the man I'd seen earlier had dropped. I let my fingers trace the links in the chain and mindlessly sighed again in discontent.

I did feel bad for stealing it from the cloaked man, for all I knew it could have been something very precious to him that I'd picked up off of the floor and kept without a hasty thought whatsoever, but what was I to do? If I left it there someone else could have picked it up and, without sounding stupid, I wanted to see him again.  
Whether it was because he somewhat resembled Sasuke's moody looks and his strong serious glare I wasn't sure, he looked stronger and his glare was so, so- hungry.

Maybe it was a hormonal crush but I really wanted to see him again, if it had been somewhat easy to find Sasuke's rough co-ordinates then surely I'd be able to identify someone as long as I knew what they looked like, right?  
I laughed inwardly wondering why I'd waste my time on someone I barely knew.  
Really, I didn't want to dwell on the thought though, a necklace couldn't mean that much to him surely.

Carefully I drew the metallic chain from my pocket and held it in front of me at eye level watching the locket spin slowly one way and then the next.  
I guess I thought it slightly unusual to see a man wearing intricate jewelry such as this; it was a feminine style of craft and the chain had beads in the links of every few. I had nothing against it obviously, I just thought it strange.

The necklace and chain itself were beautifully crafted, not something you'd find anywhere and so I guess it wasn't so bad that he was wearing it being that it was more than likely an individual of its make, if not the only one of it's kind. I felt the thin chain and the delicate links that fell off of my fingers easily, my thumb traced over the face of the locket feeling the little grooves that were carved so carefully into the silver. I would've actually quite liked to own one myself, if it didn't look so delicate anyway. I'd probably break it if I gave it even an accidental tug.

I guess if it had belonged to the cloaked man then he would've been very careful while wearing it.  
I began to pace slowly around a few nearby trees as I watched the chain swing back and forth slowly in my hand.  
It took a little while but I decided to try and open the little lock that was keeping it clasped together.

The links fell loosely around my fingers as I placed one of my manicured nails into the latch and un-clicked it a little.  
Carefully I tried pulling it apart but it stayed closed and fell out of my hands making dust particles fly around when it hit the floor.

Unfortunately it seemed however I had tried to pry open the tiny locket it stayed closed tight, after multiple tries I gave up and threw it back at the now slightly frosting floor. It flicked over on its front and a blurry glint caught my eyes- sharpish.

At first I stayed at a distance; angry that the fact that I couldn't open the trinket it was like it was glaring at me nastily.  
With great haste my hand reached out and drew up the locket wishing that it would burn my flesh so I didn't have to look at it.  
But sadly nothing of such happened and so I flipped over the face of the locket to look at the glinting back.

My fingers brushed over the all-too-familiar fan on the back and I realized I'd almost spent twenty minutes staring at the chain.

Sighing deeply I felt faint, the lack of food was one thing but it seemed everything that was remotely linked with moving or thinking made me wanna lie around for hours. I sighed and without thinking placed the chain around my neck letting it dangle down on top of my clothing.

Anger suddenly fumed in my senses and frustration took it hold of me and I found myself wondering how long it would be before the loneliness drove me insane.  
I hit my head backward upon the tree; my hand un-instinctively grasped the locket as I hit my head again letting my pink bangs fall softly into my face.  
Again and again my head pounded against the back of the tree and my eyes brimmed with tears.  
But it wasn't enough and after the pain seemed to be getting a little too much for me I tried taking a few deep breaths.

I reached to the back of my head and felt the warm blood that had just formed out of a cut from my head.  
My hand shook slightly and my head dropped back against the tree as my eyes closed and I tried to stay awake.  
Suddenly I felt something almost frozen fall upon my hand and as I looked around me I saw the little snowflakes fall everywhere around me covering everything in a white blanket.

It was a very slow process indeed and I kept watching as it became thicker and thicker and everything was beginning to look like a blank canvas of crystalline white.  
Intently I watched it, although I was pretty sure my eyes were playing tricks on me while my head pounded wildly with the loss of blood trickling slowly down my neck and down my back. But at least half an hour I sat there letting the snow cover me and gently lower my body temperature to something of risk.  
My vision slightly deteriorated with the longer I watched the snow and suddenly it seemed there was nothing to look at but white.

It was freezing but looked so gorgeously beautiful I couldn't tear myself away from looking.  
My breath now made puffs of condensation in the air and my eyes still felt heavy as everything seemed to turn into a blur of nothingness.  
But suddenly in the distance a dark figure.

My eyes instantly snapped shut and I wished that Naruto would have been here to save me.  
Just to look at his face and know that if I needed his help he'd be more than obliged.

But my mind seemed to slow and I found myself sinking into sleep.  
Drifting away like feathers into a deep darkness to get away from the blank feel.  
Away from the figure, because at the state I was in I was pretty sure it could have been... him.

That haircut was unmistakable and the figure lean and pale.  
It scared me almost to think that I could have been staring him plain in the face, I was scared beyond belief.  
But... I wanted to.

I wanted to because I knew I had to, eventually it would come that I'd be standing mere centimeters from him pleading for him to return, making him return.  
And yet now I couldn't even bare to open my eyes and face him, and that's if it was him.  
It could have been anyone; I was putting myself into a hysterical state for something I was still unsure of.  
Idiotic!

With great hesitation I let my eyes creak open slightly but I saw black and then as if by magic he _was_ there.  
Older and aged but his pale face stayed straight and as a single tear fell from my eye I reached out for him.  
But nothing, not the feel of his clothes was present near the warmth of his body.

Instead he was cold and unfamiliar.  
His hand reached out and he almost looked sympathetic but my eyes were dimming and beginning to close.  
I fought to stay awake and suddenly he was gone.  
"SASUKE!" I screamed at the height of my lungs but almost no sound could be heard.

Nothing, I struggled trying to get up but it seemed I was too cold to move anymore.  
Talking was in the distance but I didn't care as the screaming in my head was overriding it.  
"SASUKE! SASUKE!!" I kept shouting but it wasn't working, croaky whispers were the only things that came out.  
So my heart calmed after pummeling against my chest, my fists unclenched and tears stopped streaming from my eyes.  
"Sasuke, Sasuke, Sasuke" My mouth still moved but only faint S's could be heard, my eyes had fully closed just leaving him in my memory once again.

And then, I felt something.

Gently my eyes opened- blurry as they were.  
My surroundings had changed though and my breath hitched in my throat wondering if I'd been taken.  
I was trespassing after all; this could have been a sound ninja's lookout I was stuck in.

I clenched my fists and swung my legs around of off the high futon onto the floor, but didn't make a noise.  
Hastily I stood and staggered my way across the room, my legs were in pain sand it felt as if they had been broken, or never used.  
Managing my way slowly to the door of the room I was in I turned the handle and heard muffled voices.

A gasp flew into my chest and I let go of the door knob not knowing what to do.  
Even after years of training I still got noticeably scared hat I was to be killed.

Readying a kunai I heard movement and I could roughly hear the footsteps of a woman and two men.  
My breathing heightened I kicked the door straight of the hinges luckily knocking one of the men flat out on the floor with brute force.  
The other male and the woman next to him looked at me in shock.

They were un-armed and looked terrified.  
Suddenly a young girl came rushing in looking twice as shocked as these two did.  
What was I supposed to do, half of my instincts told me to run, I'd make it out the front door without much hassle I was sure.  
But then again my other instinct was to kill all these people, they could have my information, we were in Sound and no-one was to be trusted at any costs.

They could tell a Sound ninja what I'd done and get me killed, they could do anything at all and I'd have no power. But then again if I'd scared them enough maybe they'd be _too_ scared to tell anyone. Really when I thought about it in the stunned silence we were all in they _were_unarmed, they had no headband in sight and by the looks of it they were just a normal family.

I was stuck now, what to do, where to go.

The standing male inched towards me with his palms facing me in peace.  
I still held tightly upon my kunai even though I didn't want to hurt him.  
The woman's face was wet with tears and the girl still looked terrified as she looked to the woman.

And at the moment I felt like the worst person in the world.  
I dropped my kunai and fell to the floor with my head in my hands.  
My eyes could hear the woman moving toward the young girl and I started mumbling. "I'm sorry I didn't know, I thought you'd kidnapped me" I spoke through pointless tears. "I'm really so sorry, can I help him? I'm a qualified medic ninja. I'll help him" I said suddenly stumbling up and moving the strong door from the man and seeing him looking beat up.  
Slowly I moved him and propped him against the wall and all of a sudden I felt a hand on my shoulder and my head whipped around to see the little girl.  
Her face was warm and the tiny smile she held put me at ease.

"I'll help him he'll be okay" I said looking at her and then the two adults.

But the young girl opened her mouth and as I expected to hear her say something cute instead I didn't understand a word she was saying.  
The adults looked calmer and the woman held her hand out to the young girl who was still talking to me.  
I didn't understand anything she was saying and I figured it must have been another language she was speaking.  
But how was I able to tell her what I was doing.  
How sorry I was.  
I just nodded at her then.

The man I'd propped up looked slightly younger and I started my work on him.  
My hands glowed a perfect mint green and I held them to his vital organs.  
Suddenly his eyes flew open and his breathing was showing radical increase. I put one hand upon his head and let that hand work on his various cuts and bruises I'd caused.  
I glanced quickly at the other three people who were watching and they looked more shocked now than they had before.

Finishing up on him was quick he wasn't that badly hurt just enough to knock him un-conscious and quickly I stood him up and he began to breath normally.  
Smiling at him I expected him to, as the others, speak another language but I was mistaken.  
"Thank you, thank you very much" He said and my face looked very shocked I can assure you.  
"That's fine I'm sorry for what I did, Ninja on the run you know what it's like... Well actually no I guess you don't" I said quickly feeling like I'd almost offended him.  
"No no, I know what you mean and really it's my fault. I brought you here because you looked on the brink of death I never thought twice about what you'd think I apologize sincerely" He seemed genuine and I believed him.

He looked suddenly toward the other three people who still looked amazed beyond belief. "I do apologize, these are my aunt, uncle and cousin, they moved here to look after me and so we all speak their language when they're here. I should apologize for the staring as well I guess" He said chuckling slightly. "It's just where they come from ninja aren't a common thing and I doubt they'd ever seen someone perform healing ninjustsu".

And suddenly it all clicked and my mind was at ease.

After I'd explained why I was here and became acquainted with the family I told them of what I had to do and after a little hesitation of wondering whether they'd tell anyone I guess I just had to take my chances. I told them of my mission, or well at least I told the one that understood me, while the other three sat quietly talking amongst themselves while throwing a few humble smiles my way. They'd understood I had to go and they were so nice they'd even let me take some supplies with me. I smiled at them and waved goodbye knowing if they'd say anything at least I'd have a good start.

**Uchiha Itachi**

"Itachi, you fool" I thought as I pushed open a sliced shoji screen and let the cool new morning air bush over my exposed skin.  
Getting attached to such things as memories was nothing I was used to and I didn't enjoy it for more than a split second believe me. Who needs memories, what kind of life-fulfillment is living in the past anyway, foolish to say the least if you ask me.  
Or at least that's what my impression on the situation is.

Yet I sighed heavily and I realised I'd had quite enough of Konaha and it's so called beauty for more than a life-time, I was now quite looking forward to pursuing my disgusting wretch of a younger brother elsewhere. But much to my despair I really didn't have the time to plan and track him; I needed a fast passed sort of messenger that I could follow.

How much easier life would have been if someone could have just passed me a golden parchment filled with names of witless idiots willing to search for him at my say?  
But no matter some jobs are better checked out by myself, never has a Hogake here done anything so wonderfully helpful.  
I chuckled inwardly at the evil tone of the voice that resided in my skull, it was true all the same but still- some very evil words have been conjured in my mind and this was one of the things it were better to ignore than act on.

Roughly I waked out into a familiar garden area, short bladed grass; a disgusting patchy mess of browns, oranges, yellows and a bare minimum of greens bordered by a cobble-stone mosaic sort of path that I remember helping to assemble. Now of course all the exquisite things about the garden were old or covered in a thick green moss that looked moist at touch. My eyes wandered hopelessly over ferns and bushes that now just seemed to shadow everything in simplicity that I didn't much care for. The garden had always looked stupidly bright and welcoming and of all things you would've thought that I'd quite enjoy seeing it in the overgrown, decrepit mess. But no; I preferred it neat, clean and primped to perfection so that I could laugh at whoever would waste so much precious time on keeping the green things green.

With haste I trod upon the grass and over to a fountain that used to be fully working, it now spouted a muddy brownish green mess and looked positively like someone's vomit but no matter I sat by it looking into the grossly infected green pond water and wondered who on earth I could count on to lead me to Sasuke in this time and day.  
The impression I got from the annoying shop keeper was that he was un-heard of these days.  
Surely though somewhere would be maybe a friend of his? Knowing Sasuke a group of girl's desperately in love with his every movement!

At least a man could hope anyway, what a help that would be, my work would pretty much be done for me, 75 percent done at most!

I guessed at the point if I were looking to find anyone who knew Sasuke it would be best to look in the town, I'd don another unseemly disguise and just ask around a few unsuspecting people right?  
No harm done I thought as I waltzed myself away from the estate and donned the first mans look I saw and left him semi-paralyzed in a bush for a while.  
Konaha's main street was, as always, starting to annoy me. It was too much of a loud place for me, busy people just being generally noisy. Women not taking care of their multiple offspring, Grandfather's playing stupid board games in the streets and rambling about things I'm sure they barely understood. It grinded my insides to a pulp and I couldn't wait to breath the fresh air of no-where.

Unconsciously my feet wandered me through the main street while my eyes traced the lines in the cobbled floor, nothing was very interesting to look at nor where there any people worthy to look up at.  
Slowly I walked to the end of the street and suddenly a drop of water splashed down upon my left cheek and my eyes flickered as I wiped the drop away.  
The street was empty as people scattered away from the rain and then I saw them, a familiar looking pair; One loud mouthed and looking stupid as he scampered about playing games in the rain and the other being dragged along like a rag doll and timidly protesting.

He was a well defined blonde whose muscular body could be seen even through his shirt, a matured face and strong grip and the girl seemed somewhat beautiful although shy. Midnight blue hair framed her face and fell to the small of her back, it was deadly straight and her opaque eyes were standing out so simply.  
She was a thin framed girl; petite to say the least with wide-set hips and large breasts.  
They made an unlikely pair, very unlikely but then again, opposites attract.

The boy took a glance my way and for just a moment his eyes fixed upon me without movement, a fear struck into his eyes as the timid girl didn't even look at me.  
She merely looked past me and followed by the hand of the blonde boy.  
My face swirled into a smirk and I remembered the mission that seemed so long ago, "Uzamaki, Mr. Naruto Uzamaki!" I said under my breath.

And then in my head something clicked, it was so very simple. I could just devise a plan to make one of his incoherently stupid friends to find him and I'd just simply tag along. Easy, simple and something unsuspected no doubt, they wouldn't suspect me. So far all that I'd seen of Konaha's latest budding protégées wasn't much at all really.

But my mind flickered, three companions made a team- Sasuke, The kyuubi child and another.  
The pink haired girl, Haruke something like that?

I remembered where she lived roughly and as I watched the blonde and his midnight blue haired girl walk away from me the blonde's eyes fixated on me.  
It was best to make my way for her house.  
It wasn't far and I knew my way around Konaha like the back of my hand and set toward the road which she lived.

The street was light and shadows were over everything including my figure as I walked slowly down the street. Leaves moved slightly left to right in a mixture of autumn colours and step-by-step I passed old houses that I'd seen many times before and saw a lone old man walking down thee road opposite me.  
I turned and caught his glance with an unconvincingly false smile.  
"Excuse me sir but I was wondering whether you knew where I could find um a young girl" I stuttered out stupidly.

The old mans stern eyes looked at me without words for a few moments before he shook his head. "What was the girl's name? Many live on this road" I had no idea what to tell him it was hard to remember the name of someone who had never told you it themselves.  
I mumbled "It begins with an H, Hakura? Or something similar to that" The old man kept his face in the stern and almost intimidating look but sighed and answered me.  
"Haruno maybe?" He said lifting a grey eyebrow at me.  
My mind wandered, _Haruno was that what it was? Haruno? _I didn't question and nodded my head at him and he pointed a house out to me.  
"A girl lives there right? Anybody else?" I asked in a simpleton tone, almost sounding like a local.  
The elderly man shook his head " Her parents used to live with her but he passed away long ago and her mother in the last couple of years, so no, now she's all alone in there"  
"Pity" I said with no care in my voice as I gazed upon the premises looking at every window and noticing the careful work into the shoji screen hold's.

The elderly man gave me a slight nod and brushed past me slowly as my gaze still focused on the house as I pushed my feet forward.  
"That was your name" I mumbled suddenly remembering the little pink haired girls name. "Haruno, Sakura"

How common a name, I thought as I looked into the gates that were overgrown with vines that made the front garden and path look messy and old.

No matter though, I had better things on my mind.  
Much better things and soon I'd figure out the plan that would everything so easy.

I just needed time.

A/N- This one took AGESSS and no doubt it's not very long at all. I've found that alot of my chapters are very messed up in the original. But I do hope you like it. If you do review ;) that's my motto.

MWAAHH xx

RYOUKOx


	6. Outward Onward Forward

**PHILOSOPHIES FOR THEIR HATRED**

**Wait for me Re-write by RYOUKOx**

"**First and foremost and ItachiXSakura fic, Kay ;)?" **

**Disclaimer** I do not own Naruto, but I'll take my chances with Itachi.

**Italics-**_FLASHBACKS_

**Chapter Six.**

Outward. Onward. Forward.

**Uzamaki Naruto**

* * *

It took me a long while to climb the cold steps of the Hogake tower; everyday it seemed to get steeper and my legs seemed to strain even at the thought. Funny though I thought; the times where I'd fly up these steps with no care whatsoever happily making a fool of myself as I stumbled around and tripped over my own feet.  
I guess this is what getting older does to you, I chuckled as I reached the top and leaned out of one of the large glass-less windows taking a long sigh, reflecting on this already strange day I tried concentrating as hard as I could on the strange man i'd seen earlier.

At first glance I couldn't dare remember if I'd seen him before or not, his face was unfamiliar- as was his general look. He was quite a few years older than me and wasn't wearing a headband and so I was pretty sure he would have just been one of the town's people, yet I don't know what it was about him that made me focus so intently.  
His stance had this commonly placed part; a memorableness about it that made me jolt to a stop so quickly it was almost death defying.

But what was there to remember if I'd never seen him before? but as I'd decided not to dwell into it, I shook it off and took another sigh before turning to face the "Hokage Hallway" as it had been so simply named by the genin over the years.

I took my time stuffing my hands deep down into my pockets and shuffling my feet along the floor making little dust clouds, I guess I must've gotten caught up into watching my feet 'cause as I looked up I almost smacked my head hard upon the door of Tsunade's Hokage domain. Quickly I shuffled back a step or two and gave the door a strong, hard knock to announce myself. As always I heard a slight grumble from inside- I took that as an invitation to come in.  
I pulled down the bronzed door handle and slipped inside without a word. "Shizune, is that you ?" She asked her voice coarse and tired.  
I shook my head but I knowing she couldn't see me -the room was so very shadowed you could barely see your own hand in front of your face. "Um no Tsunade it's me" I said taking a step forward. There was a sort of silence where she didn't say anything but grumbled a bit while taking a few deep breaths, I thought maybe I hadn't made myself clear and so I cleared my throat. "Um Tsunade, It's me Naruto"

She sighed "Of course I know it's you Naruto, no other boy makes so much noise entering a room as you" She said clutching her head and getting up from her large desk, I saw her silhouette move across the room slowly. I was confused being that I'd been almost silent entering the room but Tsunade was still grumbling as she coughed slightly on her way to a different desk. "Come forward Naruto, take a seat. Sake?" She asked as I walked forward taking the seat opposite the main desk.  
"If you're giving it away then, yes i'll have a glass" I spoke and she stumbled back over to her seat nodding and then passing me the miniature cup full of Sake. I smiled as I took it from the desk and took a small swig making my body shudder. She took the cup in her hand and I watched her as she swallowed the whole glass and placed it down on the table with a sigh.  
"Good day?" she asked making small talk and again I cleared my throat.  
"I've had better yes but it's not too bad" I left a noticeable pause and in the shadows I saw the lines in Tsunade's face look up at me, the light barely touched her somewhat angelic face.  
My eyes looked away and I swallowed the rest of my cup before I let my head drop down. "I'll cut to the chase" I said and Tsunade laughed. "What's so funny?" I asked cocking my head to the side slightly.

"Cut to the chase? I hope we're not making any kind of deal Naruto?" she said pouring herself another glass of Sake and leaning back into her chair. She laughed slightly but it was an awkward sound and I think she realised I was serious when I did reciprocate the laughter. "No deals Tsunade, I'm worried.. about her" I said looking down into my hands.

She took a silent pause and I knew she was thinking the exact same thing that had been haunting me for days.  
As hard as it was to think of- there was such an easy possibility that Sound ninja would assassinate Sakura and she'd be out there right now, lying still, dead and gone.  
And we'd not even taken the risk to protect her.

Tsunade's large eyes wouldn't meet mine she just traced the top of her glass with her finger and sighed at what I'd said. She then leaned forward slightly her hand placing her cup on the table and her face looking sorrowful in the shadowy light. "I know what you're thinking, but there's no-one that she will listen to Naruto" She spoke quietly turning away from me and looking out at a crack in one of the dark curtains.  
I didn't know why I felt so angry, there wasn't anything I could do, Sakura wouldn't listen to me she'd already left to fight this alone.

We stayed in silence, it had been the first time that Tsunade and I had really spoke about anything that wasn't sugar-coated and lied about, it was nice just to sit quietly in each others solitude. She knew I'd been angry about not being asked to help her with the mission but there had been nothing I could do to change anyone's mind. Now I wasn't even worried about the mission I just knew that there was no-one to talk to, no-one was as close a friend as Sakura was.. is and being lonesome was not something that I was wanting to again become accustomed to.

I stepped up and turned from Tsunade's gaze as she brought another almost empty Sake bottle from the side desk of her desk drawer. I realised then there was nothing more to be said between us about the subject, I'd only came to see Tsunade for reassurance that she was still here. It felt like I'd been left to my own devices now, but knowing she was still here put my mind at ease.

I took my sake cup and placed on the left side of the room where another desk resided before slowly making my way toward the door without a sound.  
"Naruto stop" Tsunade quietly called after me and I stopped a few feet from the door and turned my head slightly. "Her ANBU room- can you get in?" She asked me standing from her desk. I said nothing but nod my head slightly as an indication that I could.

There was nothing for a little while before a rummaging sound could be heard and I turned to see Tsunade's hands scurrying through her desk searching for something. Suddenly she stopped and the remains of a battered scroll could be seen in her hand, my eyes fixated on it as the end of the black ribbon poked out from the end.  
Strangely my eyes darted from the scroll to Tsunade and back again.  
A scroll for her and we're not even sure she's alive? Do they want to be pushing her anymore?  
Surely this was slightly unfair to Sakura!  
I didn't know what to say as Tsunade started walking toward me with the scroll and opening my hands for me.  
I stood in shock looking at her as she just turned from me walking back to her desk and sitting back down in to the large chair.  
"She needs that" Tsunade's voice was strong and almost sounded pleased.  
"She needs this?" I asked not understanding and holding it in one hand.  
"i've a funny feeling we'll be hearing from Sakura soon, news travels fast and apparently a family bumped into a pink haired kunoichi up in the rock village. I'm not getting my hopes up but with any luck.."

Her sentence had no answer but for the minuscule moments after my heart slammed quickly inside my chest at the thought of Sakura home and well.

My eyes stared at Tsunade as a smile spread across her face before I turned toward the door and made for the ANBU rooms. They were quite a while to walk but I found myself almost running to get toward her room thinking she might be home faster if I get there quickly. It was a strange thought but I think I just wanted to imagine her sat there waiting so I could tell her everything that had happened and how much different it was without her here.

Because I wanted to have the feeling she'd be back soon to.

* * *

**Haruno Sakura**

The gates stared down upon me in shame I found myself on the brink of their shadow trying my best to take that first step back into the dark. Failure wasn't something that I opened with open arms but this was my home, the people that had always been there to support me would welcome me.  
They'd be there for what I needed them for, they'd udnerstand wouldn't they?

And so my foot shuffled forward and then I was stood in the shadow of my village.  
I thought that was a strange sentence really, in the shadow of my village was the only way to describe myself.  
But it wasn't so literal, I was now standing in the shade of all the people who had been more successful than I. Every ninja who had gone out and succeeded in a mission was now in the bracing light never looking back to us who lingered in the shadows.  
But I wouldn't be like that. No, I would gain my strength, set out a plan and stick to it.  
Because I hadn't failed, yet.

I took a deep breath and then I walked closer to the gates, they loomed above me closing me out but I had no fear and I raised my hand to knock against the door.  
As I did the knock echoed throughout the old wood and through every bone in my body I felt a shake as slowly the rush of air pulled in behind me and the doors began to slowly open themselves.  
Dust particles pulled from the ground making me cough as I started to timidly walk in between the gap of the gates.  
Looking to the side a familiar hut could be seen and the patrol ninja opened the sliding glass window to see who I was.  
It was to my relief that as the window opened a familiar face greeted me. "Shikamaru!" I said turning towards him and making my way over as he scrambled out of the tiny hut towards me.

I looked to the left to see who else was dwelling around the gate but as soon as I looked back two arms wrapped around me and Shikamaru grasped me tightly in a bone crushing hug.  
I was startled, Shikamaru was never the type to be so.. affectionate.  
"Woah, calm down Shika-san you're gonna kill me"; I said shifting slightly. He suddenly let me go and scratched his head looking embarrassed.  
A woman and her son giggled at his red face and I smiled looking at my feet.

I was unsure what to say then as Shikamaru's dark eyes looked straight at me with awkwardness. "Do you have entry paper's Sakura?" He asked and I felt my heart drop.  
"Umm well I.." He looked at me and watched me stammer.

"It's okay, we'll make some for you but only this time.." I was unsure whether to thank him, I smiled in his direction and he lifted my head slightly."

It's good to see you Sakura" He said with an endearing grin upon his face.  
I wasn't glad to be home, but I was glad to have time for regrouping.

After all, I wouldn't be caged anymore I would find him and no stone walls would keep me inside.  
I brushed myself off and headed for my ANBU room, I didn't feel like facing an empty home for the night. At least in ANBU I'd be near others if I wanted to talk to someone.  
Quietly I roamed the streets of the town passing shops that looked completely baron.  
Ichiraku had its lights on and I poked my head inside quickly thinking Naruto would be inside, yet to my dismay he was nowhere to be seen. No-one sat inside but I wouldn't miss out and i walked towards the counter and ordered ramen for one.  
I was served quickly taking it to go and left the shop walking slowly toward the ANBU rooms.

The path suddenly dotted darker and rain drops fell from the sky around me. I hurried my step and got inside quickly pressing back against a wall as I got my breath back, I looked around and it seemed most ANBU must've been out for the moment and so slowly I walked down the right corridor looking out the left window panes at the garden on bridge that was in between the ANBU rooms. My room was in the middle and I slowly opened my door hearing the rain hitting the screens to the back of my room.  
I flicked on the light as it had come over alot darker suddenly and pulled out a table to eat at.  
I sat at my futon and snapped open my chopsticks to eat and began to enjoy my favourite type of ramen.  
The rain came down heavily upon both sides.

Ignoring the clashes of thunder and snaps of ferocious lightning I tried to concentrate on my meal.  
My mind slowly drifted in and out of what I was planning to do next, not intently thinking about it of course because i think first i'd night as best of a night's rest I could get.

Upon finishing my ramen I piled the bowls i'd used up together and walked slowly to the side counter and stacked my plates there. My eyes wandered slowly to the window and focused on the drop of rain that came pattering down on to the pane of thin glass.  
It'd be winter soon and it was the only season that I ever noticed happening.  
As stupid as it sounded spring, summer and autumn all faded into one whereas winter stuck out from the rest; the cold made people act differently and the snow settled on everything making it blank like a new start for each year.

I tried my best to concentrate and moved away from the window to go and sit on my futon.  
Slowly I took of my sandals and removed most of my clothing, leaving my linen wraps on and also my shorts.

My muscles ached and as I led my had to rest I sighed deeply knowing tomorrow would be another day that I didn't want to face.

--

Birds began to tweet outside noisily and I scratched my head and felt my neck ache and strain painfully.  
I glanced to the side quickly and realised I was in my ANBU room which then made me realise I had no clock in the room, therefore no idea of them time.  
Slowly I got up from my futon and stretched.

The sky outside was still dark and gloomy and held the ever looming presence of rain like it had done the day before.  
I sighed looking around my room which to be fair was falling apart at the seems if you asked me.  
I'd gone for one of the original ANBU rooms when I was appointed ANBU.  
I loved the fact that it was an old room to begin with but upon inspection it seemed my shoji screen were now an off-white colour and my furniture was battered to pieces.

And thats when I noticed- the table.  
I'd always kept old scrolls there with ribbons and parchment but a scroll.  
Black ribboned sit alone on the edge of it, gathering dust.  
This was all I needed, another scroll, another mission to occupy my time.  
I picked up the light scroll and held it in one hand peering down upon the silky ribbon, I wouldn't read it yet. I knew if it were bad news then my mind would be vacant and I'd never be able to concentrate on a prevailing plan to get back to Sasuke.  
And so to prepare myself I thought it best to shower first.  
If I wanted some decent privacy I'd have to go back to my own home but, it was quite a walk away and I didn't feel like confrontation at what I suspected was an early hour.

I gathered a few things I needed and walked hesitantly toward the bathrooms in ANBU, luckily no-one was around and I felt at ease as I walked into the showers.  
They were the type I suspected were made to save money.  
The huge room had walls about to shoulder height with shower heads situated here and there on old rusting pipes, but stupidly the whole room was empty and had lock on the main door.  
Members were told not to lock the door for usual reasons- in case of emergencies and such but I felt I needed to be alone and so as I locked the door and felt the cold pull of air squeeze in I pulled the latch tightly and the noise echoed around me.

I began to remove my linen wraps and placed them over one of the tiled walls and removed my shorts standing naked in the dim light.  
Turning the large knob all of the showers in the room spurted hot water and steam began to rise as I walked inside of the enclosing walls.

Hot water touched my skin and the warmth boiled the blood within my body quickly.  
I stood still with my head facing down dripping with water, slowly I took in deep breaths and washed my body with some soap i'd found packaged in my room.

I wondered what I'd do now, sooner or later I'd have to leave but where would I start ?

I'd be doing exactly the same thing that I had in the start, really I needed to start somewhere else, with a new front on things.  
To y'know refresh my mind and breath again with the willingness to carry on.  
Because right now although my determination at heart was stronger than ever in my mind I knew that the moment I stepped out of the humongous gates I'd slope around hoping for a miracle.

But I guess it was my own fault for not carrying on in the first place, coming home had made me feel like a failure.  
I hugged myself before turning off the water and standing still for a minute or two just letting the water drain away from me before putting back on my linen wraps and pulling back up my shorts. I tied my hair up in a messy not and tied my headband round my left thigh but winced as the sharp metal plate of the headband slit my finger and dark red liquid formed upon my index finger.

I raised my finger to my mouth and sucked out the blood wretching at the coppery taste.

I looked into the mirror and chuckled to myself as my figure was thinner as they days went on.  
Excluding ramen from yesterday I hadn't eaten for about a week other than berries and water, Ino would love that as a "fad" diet.. too bad that I wouldn't run into her to tell her.  
I'd tell her when I came back, after all I would be back.  
I'd have to begin thinking positive, if I didn't all the doom and gloom would drive me insane after a little while.

I was gonna make this a positive opportunity for me, I wouldn't let whatever that scroll said bring me down and anyway why would it ?

Opening the latch on the bathroom I never noticed how hot all the steam had made the bathroom being that when I got outside I was filled with a chill of the corridors. Funny, I thought though- no-one was hanging around.  
I heard movement but usually hallways anyway were semi-crowded with people just mulling around for no reason but I guess I was mistaken as I walked back into my room and perched upon a side counter unravelling the scroll and placing the ribbon to the side of me.

Dust particles flew off it and occupied the air making me cough loudly while I read in my mind;

_"Haruno Sakura of Konaha. _

_It has come to my attention that you are on pursuit of one Uchiha Sasuke and I feel any information available to you would be of interest on your behalf.  
Obviously at present you are out looking for said Uchiha but on the small percentage that this scroll does reach you please report to me without haste. Obviously I await you return to Konaha hoping you are safe but for confidential reasons please do not discuss this matter with Tsunade as I'm sure she would rather you wait 6 months before leaving your home town again.  
The information I have is vital and I am willing to provide good accomadation for you if it is needed, my patrol ninja are aware of this matter and will let you in upon knowing your name, awaiting your arrival- _

_Gaara of the Dessert- Kazakage"_

It was funny how a singular letter could breath new life into a somewhat dead situation.

I was glad and was in no state to sit back and contemplate leaving I would leave.. today.. now even.

I didn't need anything all of my kunai and throwing stars were already equipped on my clothing and I travelled light anyway. Turning around I placed Gaara's scroll upon my futon before pulling on the rest of my clothing quickly and then putting it in one of my side pockets before heading out the door.  
Again no one was around and I was glad as I scurried out the main door and held my head high as I walked through the busy streets of Konoha.  
People stared at me and whispered, words flew around between family and friends and some people even pointed at my knowing who I was.

I daren't look at them in case they stopped me but I came to the conclusion that every person that saw me would no doubtedly turn a corner and lose sight of me and then maybe I was only a figment of their imagination for a few moments as they walked down a long road.  
Only Shikamaru knew I was here and he'd become the sort of person that unless asked a question about something would say nothing.  
So my prescence was safe.

Slowly I approached the gates, some people had followed me and as I came to a steady stop I heard them whispering louder.  
I looked to he left, the patrol ninja in the small cabin looked confused and I took a few stops forward I heard them coming out to hastle me, calling out "Miss! Miss!!"  
But it was no use, but then I heard it.

"Sakura! Sakura-san is that you?!" A voice that was all to familiar, quickly I bounded up on top on the large gates and looked at the world around me before making one swift movement down to the next tree and then to the floor. I stood with my back against the gates covered in a large shadow.  
I heard him. "Sakura! SAKURA!!" He screamed and screamed louder and louder before reaching the very gate I was laying against. He pounded his fists upon the gate and I felt the vibrations through the old wood and turned around placing my hand upon it. "Naruto" I whispered under my breath.

This was the best way to remember him, if and I mean if I never came back at least I would know in that last moment he was only a foot away from me, yet we felt so far apart.

But now it was outward, onward, forward.  
Towards the west and to the Sand, and inevitably to Sasuke.

* * *

A/N- Okaaaayy so this one took the P I double SNAKESSSS to do but its out now and one with my Itachi chapterr :D

WOOT

RYOUKOx


End file.
